Yoga

Yoga pants make for great travel attire. As a result, I’ve spent the past two days in yoga pants, lounging on my parents’ couch and bemoaning the fact that I can’t actually practice yoga right now, doctor’s orders. I had a mole excised from my shoulder on Tuesday, and the dermatologist asked me to avoid lifting heavy things and exercise that would put weight on my shoulder or stretch my back, at least for a week. (By the way, the pathology results came back all clear. No need to worry about me!)

As I entered my 30s, I knew I needed to find some form of exercise that worked for me. I have always been thin, but I have rarely been in shape (save for a few years of cheerleading and dance team). I’m a bookworm, not an athlete.

But I’ve had joint pain since I quit cheerleading more than a decade ago, and I knew that healthier habits would benefit me in the long run. In my mid-20s, my appetite suddenly changed from a desire for the junk food that powered me in college to largely natural, preservative-free foods. (And yes, I counted it a blessing. I used to be incredibly picky. I don’t know what happened.) I knew, though, that any sort of fitness craving was not likely to mysteriously happen on its own.

I had been to yoga a few times in the past, and I generally enjoyed it once I convinced myself to get there. I often felt awkward and didn’t know what to wear, a silly insecurity but one that would help keep me from exercise nonetheless. After I was introduced to Lululemon last summer, that was no longer an issue. As I have moved closer to the heart of the city in recent years, my proximity to classes has also increased. Money was one of the remaining obstacles.

Last December I wished for The Yoga Circle to run an unlimited month Groupon. I reasoned that this would give me time to see how I really felt about yoga, and to so so at a reasonable price. The next day, such a Groupon appeared. I began my unlimited month at the year’s start.

And I was hooked. I tend to worry and plan more than is necessary, and yoga proved a perfect fit for my over-active mind. When I’m focused on breathing and settling into a pose, I’m not thinking about my to-do list or budget. (Well, not usually.) The physical benefits have been a bonus; my joint pain has been greatly reduced, and I’m stronger than ever before.

I bought a 16-class package after that initial unlimited month ran out, and I quickly discovered it wasn’t enough to satiate my craving. It’s been a year since I started practicing on my own, and nearly a year since I became a regular at my studio. Today, my yoga pants remind me how eager I am to return to practice. And in the meantime, I might just sit in class and breathe for a while.

The eighth #bloglikecrazy prompt focused on fitness. Today’s subject line comes from Anna Nalick’s “Breathe.”

I’ve put on nearly 20 pounds in the past year. Now, I’m not complaining about it. I actually feel better about my body than I ever have because I’m more toned and (generally) eating as healthy as I ever have. My new shape has been formed by yoga and, perhaps, my 30s, good and natural things.

But suddenly, my clothes were all wrong.

Well, maybe not all wrong. But some of my dresses were suddenly too tight through the torso, and none of my pants fit my hips and thighs. I’ve even got a few skirts I probably need to toss aside.

As a result, I’ve spent more on clothes this year than probably any other year of my life. And today, I made several more additions to my wardrobe.

I’m at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, and they’re just a couple of miles from an outlet mall. Mom and I hit a few stores this afternoon, and what I intended as a quick trip to pick up a couple of shirts resulted in three cute T’s, a blouse, a sweater, a dress, a wool skirt and a pair of pants.

Eesh. I don’t even like shopping.

But here’s the catch: I’ve updated my wardrobe at very reasonable prices (today’s haul originally retailed for about $460, and I paid $135) while selecting classic pieces that should be in my closet for years. I’m not much for trends, and this has been the first time I’ve gained significant weight since high school. More importantly, as I’ve matured, I’ve learned how to better dress for my body. The end result is a more confident, more comfortable Carla Jean. And I’m in favor of that, in any shape.

Today’s title comes from “Let’s Go to the Mall” by Robin Sparkles, and this is my seventh #bloglikecrazy post. Today’s prompt focused on fashion.

“When you’ve set an intention for your practice, bring your hands to your heart.”

Every Monday afternoon, I return to my yoga mat and focus on what I need in my life. That may be the physical routine that I’m about to participate in. It may be 75 minutes of quiet before I resume what is likely to be a jam-packed week. But regardless of what has brought me there or how long it’s been since I’ve slowed my breath and focused my mind, two words often return to the forefront: Seek peace.

I’m approaching a year of regular yoga practice, and in many ways, it’s unlike anything I’ve done before. I take 75 to 90 minute sessions, several times a week, to slow down and breathe. And I often tell my yoga-skeptical friends that I could walk into that room, assume child’s pose and then focus on my breathe, then leave in a better frame of mind than that in which I arrived.

This slowing down, both of the mind and of the body, has always been a struggle for me. I love information and learning, and I’m constantly filling my world with more, more, more. Just this afternoon I plowed through a stack of New Yorker and New York magazines, moving them from my bedroom floor to the recycling bin in an act of self improvement and cleaning.

Finding that solace in motion is a new act for me; though I cheered and danced in high school, those physical activities filled my mind rather than slowing it down until facing my issues became unavoidable. But even though finding that space in movement is something different, I’ve always been able to sort my thoughts and clear my mind through writing.

I decided I wanted to become a writer when I was in fifth grade. By that point, I’d already written a book and a play or two. (I still have the transcripts, though not in their original forms, around here somewhere.) But I distinctly remember finding myself more through my pen than any other medium when I was 10 years old. I was a pretty normal kid who loved riding bikes, watching Nickelodeon and reciting every word to the week’s episode of Full House, but I best expressed myself in writing.

That’s still true, and that’s also why I periodically turn to this blog. This space is one where I offer myself grace; I’m regularly writing and editing in my full-time job, adjunct instructor position and freelance work. I turn to my journal when I need to sort things out. But expressing myself in a public venue is another way of stretching this writing muscle and challenging my introverted self. That’s why I’m coming up on 10 years of blogging (come March), and that’s why I continue to unveil my heart in a rather public space.

Like so many of my fellow Birmingham writers, I’ve decided to participate in my friend, fellow board member and freelance writer Javacia Harris Bowser’s November #bloglikecrazy challenge. I’ve admittedly jumped on board late; this effort began Nov. 1, and here we are, 11 days into the month. But again, this is a space where I show myself grace, which I must confess is not my strongest suit. I suspect I’ll benefit from accepting a challenge to write (in a public way, no less) every day for a month. I’m not particularly concerned about the date on which I begin this journey.

As I’ve grown older, and particularly since I’ve entered my thirties, I’ve gotten increasingly better at focusing on the intentions I have set for my life, then evaluating the steps I’m taking to achieve those goals (or the acts that are taking me away from them). Yoga is one of the means by which I’ve seen myself become stronger, more focused and more confident. Writing has always been a key part of that, as well. Just as I intend to return to my mat and face what I find there, day after day, I aim to pick up the pen or keyboard and release the words and thoughts I so often repress. I know myself, and thereby am more open to others, when I do.

Today’s subject line comes from Radiohead’s “Myxomatosis,” which is fabulous for so many reasons.