(I was just showing Elisa ridiculous entries I have had saved for years–literally, years–and she decided I should post this one. “Because it’s adorable,” she says. “It so seems like Carla three years ago–more tentative and wanting so badly to be spontaneous!” So, here. This is from May 29, 2005, at 9:38 p.m.)
You know how there are certain things in life – characteristics, I guess – that just sound like something good to be?
(Or is that just me?)
I think it sounds “cool,” somehow, to be a risk taker, to be spontaneous. And as much as I’d like to paint myself as an exciting person, I just don’t think that’s me.
A friend made a bet with me the other day, a bet that required me to do something a touch daring. He was confident that the bet would pay off in my favor and I’d be $20 richer.
Though it’s a tiny example, it started me thinking. Being uptight and structured is part of my personality, and it’s deeply ingrained.