Throw you to the wind, you fly away

As we were driving home tonight, Alisa turned to me with hopeful words.

“Just imagine – someday we’ll have men who love us this much,” she said, referring to “Three Days, ” which Pat Green was crooning on her CD player.

“It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it?” I sighed.

She agreed but remained optimistic. “I honestly doubt we’ll still be single when we’re forty.”

I’m not so convinced.

It won’t be the end of me if I never marry. The more time passes, the less I believe it’ll happen. I believe in love, I guess. I see it around me in the lives of people I care for. But I find it difficult to believe that it can happen to me.

I don’t want a “good Christian guy.” Instead, I want someone with passion and vision. I want a man with a hunger for life, someone who will love me wildly… but will love God more fiercely still.

That’s the catch. I do want a godly man… but so many of them seem so bland. Is the church encouraging men to live fully, or are we domesticating them in an effort to be more PC? Are we turning our men into women?

I don’t want a man to handle me with kid gloves, but I do want to be treasured above every other person in his life. I’ve yet to meet a man who fits this description – who loves me this way.

But then, as Alisa said… it only takes one.

Feel free to point out the plank in my eye. I’m not blind – I don’t think I’m perfect. But I am jaded.

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0 Responses to Throw you to the wind, you fly away

  1. Oh, I do think that the Church domesticates men.

  2. A great book on the subject is John Eldredge’s “Wild at Heart” which says exactly that. Men in the church have been trained to ignore their warrior impulses, when that’s what God made them to be–warriors. The concept of the book may be off-putting to those who fear men will become chest-beating cavemen as a result. But the book was actually quite liberating, in my mind. Very good resource for guys (and girls, too, I suppose, but mainly guys).

  3. Y’know, I’ve read Wild at Heart. I know lots of guys who have read it.

    They’re still pansies.

  4. Steven

    Wild at Heart is a good book, but to become the man that that book calls us to be we have to do more than read it. We fail to find masculine friends who face their wounds. We fail to live by God’s standard of what a relationship with him is like. We come to God and life like the natural man: we desire what we want when we want it. Now, some men are naturally agressive and passionate and unpansielike, but even those men, without God, are living meaningless lives that fear the true masculinity that God has given us.
    But us Christian guys tend to be pleasers and pansies. We say, “Why doesn’t any Christian girl like me, does she not like nice guys?” Yea, she likes nice guys, but we are such pleasers because we want to be loved so badly. Why don’t we forget that, push the traitor within away and cling to the lion within that lives and breathes life and love on God’s terms. I am not there, so I will be going through this book again and again, but this time with my trusty sword in my other hand. I want to be strong and sure, not a groveling sniveler the traitor within wants to be.

  5. I love you Carla, you make me laugh at your unsaid thoughts from the other night. I leave you with a quote from our new friend Krisyin Billerbeck “I call Jim “Wild at Heart Man” becasue he can’t seem to say a thing without quoting John Eldrege. Trouble is, I think Jim missed the message of that book becasue he’s not more masculine, just more annoying.”

  6. ah, Kristin Billerbeck. We should invite her to write the foreword for our book. 🙂

  7. *gasp* “our book” is top secret. but yes, good idea.

  8. Steven

    thanks for the Kristin Billerbeck comment there…I appreciated that.

  9. very good post carla jean. and very good comments everyone.

  10. mb

    I’m skipping out on posting on “the thread” and I just wanted to say that I agree with you Carla Jean. You could just switch it around for a guy looking for that kind of girl and you would pretty much be describing me.

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