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Your love life’s D.O.A.

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

In a fit of frustration last week, I made an announcement to several of my guy friends.

“Men are dumb. I’m going to marry Chandler Bing.”

Most of the guys quickly reminded me that Chandler Bing is fictional, but one of these friends took a different approach.

“Yes we are, and Chandler Bing is no exception.”

So maybe Chandler is too old for me and we would be “unequally yoked,” but he does represent an appealling “type” of man. Chandler cracks me up – I love his dry, sarcastic sense of humor. He’s manly, and as the show progressed, he learned how to dress better. (The early seasons with those sweater vests kill me. Yuck yuck yuck!) But in contrast to all of his sardonic ways, he adores Monica. He loves her despite her annoying idiosyncrasies.

“I’m sorry. You’re not easy-going, but you’re passionate, and that’s good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I’m pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that’s good too. So, they can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like … maintaining you.”

Though he’s the “cast clown,” he also has really sweet moments. I’m going to miss my imaginary (non-Jesus-loving, too-old-for-me) Friend. Where will my generation turn for mindless (but oddly insightful) definition?

“The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy. There is no ‘normal,’ because everybody is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously. You can’t compare your relationship with the playful couple who lives next door, because they’re probably modeling themselves after Chandler Bing and Monica Geller.” –Chuck Klosterman

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.

Post the questions in the ‘comments’ area so that everyone can see them and their respective answers.

(I ganked this from Megan, who stole it from Josh.)

CJ designated state’s official hot grandma

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

MONTGOMERY – Despite her petite size and preference for bad folk music, journalism graduate student and staff reporter CJ was named “World’s Sexiest Grandma” by a consensus of editors and managers from the Office of Student Media on Tuesday. The state House and Senate both voted unanimously to make her the official hot grandma of Alabama. Gov. Bob Riley signed the declaration yesterday.

CJ, a 22-year-old who has made random drives to Monroeville and Troy for the newspaper staff, was commended for her glasses, intelligence and general ability to “immediately inform every [male] in the newsroom he doesn’t have a chance in the hottest region of Hell: Kentucky.”

CJ was unable to accept the award in person, however, because of institutionalization due to an irrational loyalty to Florida State.

As of press time, the entire Bowden family still sucks.

–from staff reports (no one will ‘fess up to writing it! and I do NOT listen to bad folk music! Patty & Sandra rock!)

But that’s the broken place that’s where you are

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Well, I was never less than perfectly happy without you
And I was never more inclined to stay on my own
But I guess the best surprises come when you’re not looking
‘Cause I was dying, but I never would have known

I know I’ve been quoting Tara Leigh Cobble (and in this case, Oliver Lollis) quite a bit lately, both in my blog and my away messages. There simply aren’t enough artists who sing about these screwed up relationship things from a Christian perspective!

Not that I’m in a relationship, mind you. I’m no where close! But I go through these cycles where I think about guys a lot, and right now I’m at the peak of another.

See, there’s a problem with this house that I’ve constructed
Fashioned carefully from all the strongest stones
‘Cause I see cracks in the walls I’ve never noticed
Ignore the crumbling as I try to live alone

This could be the theme song of my love life, only without anyone on the receiving end. I don’t know when I got so skeptical about men (though those of you who know the ex-boyfriend should know that it was long before he entered the scene). But sure enough, this is where I am.

You know what? I kind of like my “anti-swoony” attitude. I used to be the girl who daydreamed about marriage on a daily basis. I doodled my (future) kids’ names in the margins of my notebooks when I should have been paying attention to my Old Testament professor. (Sarah Grace and Caleb Joshua are my favorites, in case you were wondering. Joshua is the best name ever.) My closest friends and I would make bets on which of us would be the first down the aisle, and I often had the most votes.

And I said, “love is such a weakness, and it’s better not to fall,”
And I’ll admit, it’s satisfying to pretend that I am strong
You know, no one has accused me of not trying to know it all
But I’m finding that I’ve never been so wrong
For everyone but you

That girl disappeared somewhere along the line. I don’t know what (or who?) caused that, except perhaps a healthy dose of reality. Instead of daydreaming about wedding gowns, I’ve nearly gone to the opposite extreme. My attitude is now one of “I don’t need a man, and you’re crazy if you’re going to convince me otherwise.”

There’s a warm day once a week when winter’s ending
Bringing little bits of summer yet to come
It’s like those times that we’re together when it’s tempting
To take your hand instead of turn and run

There’s some truth to that. I don’t need a man. I’m happy to be a young, single Christian woman. I’m throwing a lot of effort toward starting a career, and I have some great friends for support. I have interests, I have hobbies, I have Jesus. I don’t have a boyfriend.

See, I could talk all night about how I’m so happy
But I’d be wasting words on things just halfway true
If real contentment is a constant, then I wonder
Why I often wish that I were holding you

There’s effects of that mentality. Despite the truth in it, my desire for independence is also rooted in doubts and insecurity. Therefore, if I find myself intrigued by a man, I’m quick to beat myself up for it. “It’ll never happen!” I tell myself. “You’re just being silly. Put that out of your mind.”

And you can call it what you want, and write it off as just temptation
Wear the single life and dress it to the nines
But those sweet freedom berries make a bitter glass to drink
When no one’s there to share with you the wine

I think that extreme may be just as bad as the other. Balance, please?

–Tara Leigh Cobble & Oliver Lollis, “Winter’s Ending”

Reasons why…

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I need to buy waterproof mascara.

Runny eye

Yeah. I was driving home from Birmingham a few weeks ago, and I got something in my eye. As my eye watered, my mascara started running, and then IT was in my eye. I had to drive with one eye closed (on the interstate, in the dark) for ten minutes while I tried to make my eye water enough to flush the make up out. And this is what I looked like when I got home.

Now I don’t want to beg you, baby, for something maybe you could never give

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I love getting new CDs.

It’s a great feeling when the release day finally arrives for a CD you’ve been anticipating. Because I’m a bit of a dork, I’ll get up and get ready with the intention of being at the CD store just as soon as they open. I’ll run in, buy my CD and pop it in the CD player as soon as I get in my car. I’ll carry that CD with me to and from the car as I continue the day.

Tuesday was the release day for the latest Patty Griffin disc, Impossible Dream. I’ve only been waiting since, oh, about the time I fell madly in love with Patty’s music. This is the first studio disc she’s released since I’ve been a fan.

The trouble with Patty is that I can never decide which of her albums is my favorite. I have them all… love them all. (Okay, okay… I like Flaming Red. But one out of six ain’t bad.) When my friend Josh called me to discuss the album on Wednesday, I hadn’t determined my favorite track just yet.

I’ve had a few days to digest it now, and I think I’m ready to talk. The conclusion that I’ve reached is that there are different Pattys for different moods. There are exceptions to every rule, but in my mind, each of these albums has its own overriding tone.

  • Living with Ghosts – I love the simplicity of a girl with her guitar. Patty’s voice shines on this album. No, it’s not perfection – there are awkward moments – but it’s real. This is the album I put on when I’m feeling bitter and want to shout it out (“Every Little Bit”) or despondent and sorry for myself (“Moses”).
  • Flaming Red – Patty plugged in sees the most time in my player on Friday mornings when I’m getting ready. It’s a great dancing-around-while-putting-on-make-up CD…. and yes, I realize that not every song fits that description. They’re my least favorites. (On the other hand, I love “Carry Me.”)
  • Silver Bell – My love for this CD may be amplified by its relative rarity. It also suits the most diverse array of moods… tracks at the beginning (“Boston,” “Perfect White Girls”) fit my dancing-around-and-singing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs moods. Several songs (“Little God,” “Driving”) fall somewhere between that and a more melancholy place; they still have opportunities for belting it out, but the passion is somehow different. My favorites on the CD (“Top of the World,” “One More Girl”) are depressing and leave me in the mood to bawl. The production on this CD may not be as clean as it could be… but what do you expect of a disc that was never actually released? That’s fine by me.
  • 1000 Kisses – When I’m in the mood to fall in love, 1000 Kisses gets the most airtime. These are mostly not happy songs, but their instrumentation tugs at me. They’re lyrically beautiful and they leave me reflecting on life. (“I’m not looking for the rest of your life/ I just want another chance to live”) Patty is my favorite songwriter because it’s so easy for me to relate to her.
  • A Kiss in Time – The only way I can describe the mood that moves me to play this CD is as a “diverse Patty” mood. A live compilation of songs from Patty’s first three (released) studio discs has its own appeal. There are versions on this CD that I prefer to the original (“Be Careful,” for example, though it is the song that made me fall in love with Patty’s music in the first place.)
  • Impossible Dream – Finally we get to the CD that inspired this rambling. 🙂 I’ve decided that this is my sad Patty CD. Again, there are exceptions – “Love Throw a Line” is upbeat, and though its lyrics are melancholy, “Useless Desires” sparkles. (It’s the mandolin.) Those two stand out to me now because I’ve been in a good mood all week, but I think my favorite is “Florida.” That’s not just because I grew up there – though it plays a part. 🙂 It’s just a beautiful song… and again, there’s something sad about it. (Of course, not in my favorite part – the first two verses just remind me of driving around Jacksonville with my friends: “Couple of young girls went/ Sailing down on A1A/ To the arms of Florida/ Sailing down the highway/ Singing their heads off/ Protected by the Holy Ghost/ Flying in from the ocean/ Driving with their eyes closed”) I also think this is her strongest album as far coherence is concerned. It doesn’t end on a weak note, as do the others.

    • Yeah, so pretty much you don’t want to call and ask me my thoughts about a new CD… ’cause this is what you get, days later. I’ll have to share this with my friend next time we talk.

    I say a little prayer for you

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    Finally!

    Those of you who have been keeping up with my life know that I’ve been searching for an internship since October. Thirteen rejections later, I’ve finally secured a position! It looks like I’ll be spending my summer at Campus Crusade for Christ’s HQ in Orlando, Fla.

    Whew.

    Now that we’ve established that… this brings up several new thoughts. I’d love your prayer (or wisdom, if you’ve got it!) in any or all of these areas.

    1. Support raising. $2500 by June 7… ready, set, GO!
    2. Intern for credit. I’m meeting with my adviser on Monday to discuss this possibility.
    3. What’s next? My lease will run out while I’m in Florida. I’ve got to decide if we’re renewing through the fall. Is it worth a couple thousand dollars to stay in Tuscaloosa when I won’t even be on campus? Will my roomie move back to California if I leave town? Will I get a fall internship? The questions – and possibilities – are numerous.

    This journey of faith continues… 🙂

    Protected: I’m going to take more, more from you, letter by letter

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    I promised a couple (literally) of you a transcript of my interview with Tara Leigh Cobble… so here it is! More power to you if you actually read the entire thing. It came out to just over 18 pages single spaced – almost 9,000 words long. (That’s why I referenced Dave Matthews’ “Too Much” in the subject line – could I talk any more?!) We’re password protected here because I don’t want anyone ganking my quotes for their own uses.

    Enjoy!

    CJW: Alright, I’m going to record you and I’m going to sit it over here so it’s a little bit closer to you because I can make out my own mumbling better than I can other people’s.

    TLC: Good point. Would you like me to sit closer to it or rub it against my face?

    CJW: Well you could if it made you feel better but I think we’ll be okay. (laughs) Okay, I’ll try to go somewhat quickly so we don’t take up too much time. First of all, background info. I don’t want to dwell too heavily on that because I read the different things, the articles you have linked to on your Web site, so, but I haven’t read them in the past week, which I probably should’ve done. So, is your family musical?

    TLC: Yes. My dad used to play the banjo professionally, and everyone sings and plays instruments and things like that. No one does it for a living, but they’re all very musically inclined.

    CJW: Okay, so you grew up in that kind of atmosphere, then. Did you have lessons or did you just…?

    TLC: I took – I was in choir, which kind of serves as voice lessons, but not really. I took a few guitar lessons. The guitar teacher was really into smoking weed (laughs) so I quit after not very long. So that sort of helped me get my starter’s chops. Then mostly just self-taught, hanging out with musicians a lot. I sort of put myself in places like Guitar Center, in the guitar corner where the guy who’s the guitar tech is walking around showing everybody things. Sort of, “Teach me something!” Sort of impromptu lessons I guess.

    CJW: Probably a little bit cheaper, too! (laughing) What are other interest that you have?

    TLC: (laughs) I’m like, should I be honest?

    CJW: You should be honest.

    TLC: I like hunting. I like the outdoors, camping, politics, voting… I also like… I really like the 2:28 and hunting. (laughs) And shoes. I like shoes a lot (laughs). And Conan O’Brien – I love Conan O’Brien! If there’s one thing I try to do every day, it’s watch Conan O’Brien for a few minutes.

    CJW: That’s funny. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

    TLC: Maaaaaybe fifty. Not as many as I would like to, but maybe fifty. Two closets’ worth of shoes, plus a rack on the inside of my closet.

    CJW: What’s your favorite pair of shoes?

    TLC: I got these new black stilettos with the really pointy, pointy toes. They’re so cool. You can wear them with a skirt or with Capri pants or with jeans – all kinds – they’re so, just so diverse. You can put them with anything.

    CJW: Are they comfortable? (laughs)

    TLC: No, not at all! They’re really, really uncomfortable. But I love them! They’re super girly. I almost wore them today, but it was too cold outside.

    CJW: Well, I brought flip flops and these (gestures at chunky heels) with me, so…

    TLC: Those are the best choice for today. They cover the most foot flesh.

    CJW: And these are old, beat up shoes – I’ve had them for almost five years.

    TLC: I was noticing them earlier and I like them.

    CJW: Well, thank you! I like them too, they’re from Sears.

    TLC: I like the ankle strap. Sears has some good shoes.

    CJW: They do, you just have to pay attention.

    TLC: There’s a great store here in Nashville called Off Broadway.

    CJW: (in a sing song voice) Note to self…

    TLC: It’s not actually off Broadway, unfortunately. But if you ask anyone where the roundabout is – the roundabout with the naked music statue – that’s where Off Broadway is. Great shoes there.

    CJW: Now I don’t have very much room in my closet for shoes so I try to keep it to a minimum. I could probably use some of Alisa’s closet space. Her closet’s huge.

    TLC: You could store things under your bed.

    CJW: Well, I already have stuff under my bed. (giggles)

    TLC: Oh, well, never mind.

    Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

    What am I darlin’?

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    I have a friend who is relatively new to me (as compared to others I know). Like so many other people I’ve befriended in the past year, we met at a concert. We converse mostly by e-mail because we live several hundred miles apart, but we do hang out when in the same city.

    Oh, and said friend has released two CDs and will have a third to her name in June.

    The thing is, Tara Leigh Cobble is as regular a person as Alisa Lauren Smith or Brandon James Cozart. She’s funny, she’s laidback and she’s not pretentious. These are all qualities that I appreciate in a friend, though I may not always possess them myself.

    Truth be told, I have a number of interesting friends. Take my roommate, for example. Alisa’s job may not be as “glamorous” on the surface as Tara Leigh’s, but it too is infinitely fascinating.

    Alisa spends an average of seven hours a day working at a Christian bookstore. I’ve never done well as a retail employee; I have too many opinions and too little stamina. But this roommate of mine spends hours standing on her feet, and rarely does she come home to complain. (By way of contrast, after standing at a fantastic concert for three hours, I’ll sleep extra hours.) She adores her co-workers and she’s always bringing home some interesting book from the shelves of GSH. I have an idea that these things, along with her friendly demeanor, make Alisa a dang good employee.

    What about Chrissy? She works double duty, busting her tail (and entertaining me on IM) as an office employee by day, but making the “big bucks” at night as a bartender. A single day in Chrissy’s life probably consists of more intensive labor than I’ve exerted in most of mine. But she works hard to live a worthwhile life. It looks like that life will be taking her to Ireland in the next year – she’ll be working as a missionary in some creative arts ministry positions. I can’t wait for her to leave so I can hear all about the ways God is using her unique gifts.

    When I’m in need of entertainment or I just want to be impressed, I need not look further than my family. Cristin is an actress who is always “on” – her antics will bring you to the ground in laughter. Cheryl is the moody artist. I’ve got a sketch of hers framed on my living room wall. Chad daydreams of being a scientist and cartoonist, as well as of the day he’ll be big enough to wrap his arms around that abandoned guitar of Cheryl’s. Neither talent nor personality are lacking among this bunch.

    The moral of the story is that having CDs with your name on them or even spying your byline in a newspaper or magazine does not make you a more worthwhile person. (Tara Leigh will attest to that – check out her journal entry entitled “Rolling Up the Red Carpet” on 120103. I need to remind myself of that whenever I get excited about my tiny byline in a university paper.) The intricacies of the people I know are a blessing to me, and I only hope some of their humility rubs my way.