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Every time I hear that song, I go back

In light of yesterday’s thrice-updated blog, today I offer you the latest in blogging trends…

The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey
Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:

Opening song: “Faith My Eyes” by Caedmon’s Call
Waking up: “Green Eyes” by Coldplay
First date: “Strong Enough” by Sheryl Crow
First kiss: “Tomorrow Night” by Patty Griffin
Falling in love: “Winter’s Ending” by Tara Leigh Cobble
Seeing an old love: “I Should’ve Known Better” by Nickel Creek
Heartbreak: “Cheers Darling” by Damien Rice
Driving fast: “Crush” by Dave Matthews Band
Getting ready to go out: “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” by Shania Twain
Partying with friends: “Sin Wagon” by Dixie Chicks
Dancing at a club: “They” by Jem
Flirting: “Spit on a Stranger” by Nickel Creek
Feeling sexy: “The Morning Song” by Jewel
Walking alone in the rain: “Rain” by Patty Griffin
Missing someone: “These Are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs
Playing in the ocean: “Be True to Your School” by Beach Boys
Summer vacation: “Get Out the Map” by Indigo Girls
Fighting with someone: “You’re so Vain” by Carly Simon
Acting goofy with friends: “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something
Thinking back: “Clarity” by John Mayer
Feeling depressed: “Painting Pictures of Egypt” by Sara Groves
Christmas time: “Sing Mary Sing” by Jennifer Knapp
Falling asleep: “Daylight” by Alison Krauss + Union Station
Closing song: “Every Season” by Nichole Nordeman

A couple of notes:
Alisa: You know that has to be my “falling in love” song, ’cause every time I so much as mention a guy, you mention that song… 🙂 Someday, it’ll be fully appropriate!
Megan: Five – count ’em, five – songs by Christian artists. Where are my points?
Some of these songs may not seem to make sense with the categories. I can elaborate if there’s confusion… but I assure you, they make sense to me. 🙂

Love has come and it’s giving me hope to carry on

After two days of freedom from OSP [Orlando Summer Project] rules and regulations, I’ve realized something:

I have yet to do anything that’s OSP inappropriate!

My suitcase holds several tank tops, but I haven’t worn anything that violates the high standards of my summer dress code. My mother offered me a glass of wine, but I wasn’t in the mood. To be honest, I feel like a bit of a slacker for sleeping in the past two mornings (though Lord knows the rest has done me some good!). This is life, post-OSP.

In all seriousness, I’m excited to see how this summer has changed me. After 10 weeks in a “Christian bubble,” I know my sensitivity has been heightened. I’ve been shocked to see some of the clothes people wear, and it’s weird to spot people with cigarettes.

Likewise, I anticipate changes in my behavior. I can already think of a few shirts that will be sent to Goodwill. I’m considering (maybe) purchasing a new Christian CD.

But the ways God has worked in me this summer haven’t all been so minor. He’s moving me past bitterness – a much needed change, as many will tell you. He opened my eyes to new possibilities for my future, and He introduced me to some amazing people.

I can’t numerate His works for you off-hand, but you better believe I’ll be processing through some of that over the next several weeks. I miss my fellow interns, but at the same time – it’s good to be back. Bring on real life!

Oh, how I miss these kids...!

I’m sure gonna give you a try

I asked myself last night, how am I different away from OSP [Orlando Summer Project]? This was the result.

I decided my first week here that I would strive to be CJ, regardless of circumstance. It can be a real temptation for me to seek attention and become a people pleaser by doing whatever is “cool” to a particular group. But I reminded myself that acceptance isn’t based on these people – and if they didn’t like me, I would leave them in August anyway.

What I found instead is that people do like me. They’ve seen me at my silliest and first thing in the morning. We’ve shared secrets and inside jokes. They’ve known me with my make up stripped away and my sins exposed. Through it all, they remain my friends.

So what’s different here? I think it’s the atmosphere, at least in part. This isn’t the “real world.” I haven’t had to deal with people arguing over who has the most time with me. Habits and attitudes of these people encourage me; at school, that’s not always so. They don’t see how I react to professors and academic challenges. I don’t have my own time and space here; they don’t know the me who is quiet.

That’s okay. I’m constantly in flux. The challenges and blessings I encountered at Alabama shaped who I am. Likewise, the weeks I’m spending in Orlando are refining me in other ways. Thoreau said, “We are constantly invited to become who we are.” I pray that’s what I am always doing.

When I leave this city in a few weeks, I’ll take pieces of these people with me. Some of that may be in words or gestures, but some may be in attitude or character. I’m not sure what those changes will be, but this I know: the woman I am on OSP is not the woman I’ll be in Birmingham is not the woman I’ll be for the rest of my life. My prayer is only that each development will make me more like Jesus.

All I want to do is exalt You

I’ve been surrounded almost exclusively by Christians for the past five weeks. Not surprisingly, this is an atmosphere where “Christianese” may freely flow. Terms like “a heart for” and “saved” are tossed about without explanation because we all understand them.

In a similar vein, “life verses” have come up many times. I’ve always thought that a funny term – I’m 23 years old, and I’ve only been serious about God’s role in my life for 4.5 years. How do I choose a verse that describes my life’s theme? Is that even important to me?

Probably not. I enjoy hearing what others consider their life verses, but I’ve had three different verses that have really hit home during this journey I call my “walk with Christ.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

The first couple of years that I spent growing in my Christian faith were filled with trials. Many of my high school friends were turning to me for advice on weighty problems. I spent my time trying to learn how a Christian life should look. In the midst of so much learning and change, this passage offered encouragement.

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. Psalm 27:4

As I graduated from college and sought new direction for my life, I questioned my priorities. What goals did I have for my life? What steps were necessary to achieve those ends? In processing through these questions, Psalm 27:4 gave me guidance. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew that the ultimate purpose must be to know and glorify God, because that is why I was created.

My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. Psalm 45:1

This verse seems to scream “CJ!” far more than the others. I am at my most comfortable with a pen and pad of paper. Writing isn’t something I do just because I enjoy it; I am passionate about using what skill I have to encourage Christians and non-Christians alike. I don’t know that I’ll be employed by a Christian publication, but that circumstance is irrelevant to my goals. I want my words (both spoken and written) to edify readers, whether I write for Relevant, a Campus Crusade publication or Southern Living.

You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever. Psalm 45:2

What’s funny is that the lines following my “life verse” are beautiful but distinctive in a completely different way. Verse one of this psalm calls to mind my life’s goals, but verse two taps into a different desire: a husband.

I’d like to get married someday. Should that day come, I would love to recite these words to my husband. Surely he’ll be the “most excellent of men” in my eyes – that’s why I’ll marry him, after all.

The idea of lips “anointed with grace,” however, blows me away. I’m not sure what the author had in mind when penning this psalm, but to me they draw out a powerful image.

The man I imagine isn’t a wimp who is soft of speech and lacking confidence. He’s a man who is self-assured, not because he’s got so much going for him (though he probably does), but because his worth is tied up in Jesus. He’s the same person regardless of circumstance.

That includes his relationships. Instead of mocking the girl who tries too hard or the guy who flirts with every girl, he embraces their contributions to the world.

I’ve learned that it’s important to not only know my standards, but to become my standards. Am I the sort of woman that would attract the kind of man I desire? Moreover, am I bringing glory to God?

This idea has resurfaced many times lately, particularly regarding speech. I try to be an uplifting influence, but I often pepper my speech with sarcasm or crass words. A friend informed me recently that it’s not ladylike to say things like “butt load.” While I think he was mostly kidding, he has a point. My purpose isn’t to impress boys, and butt load may not be derogatory to God – but is it edifying?

Romans 12:1 instructs us to be “transformed by the renewing of your minds.” The Christian bubble in which I dwell may not represent “real life,” but it is serving as an incubator for these thoughts. August 14 may find me a changed person.

Workin’ nine to five

Since I gave you an overview of my summer in my last e-mail, I thought I’d take this time to offer a better understanding of my job. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I’m a writer in the Global Communications office of Campus Crusade. But what on earth does that mean?

Essentially, I am working on a team to revamp the organization’s Web sites. This work is primarily concentrated on the new staff Web site, which will be launched in September. I have my hands in several projects right now, all of which are exciting:

1. Staff travel site: Dozens of corporate discounts are available to Campus Crusade staff for travel, but there is not a centralized location for this information. Over the past weeks, I’ve been gathering this information so that it can be made more readily available. This will save staff members considerable amounts of money, because travel is a big part of the job. That money can then be used more efficiently for other areas of ministry.

2. General Counsel’s Office site: Campus Crusade does have several attorneys on staff. Part of this site’s purpose will be to educate staff members and supporters about why this office is necessary and important. In that, I’ll also be writing profiles of each member of this staff.

3. New staff & senior staff (25+ years) profiles: Feature material will run on the new staff Web site, and this series will be included in that. It is our hope that these pieces will encourage staff members of all ages. Sometimes, it’s hard for the older staff members to remember the eagerness and enthusiasm they had when they were younger. Likewise, the new staff members have a lot to learn from those who have gone before them.

These are some big projects that are keeping me busy, but I am loving it! My dad was able to visit me at HQ this week and take an informal tour of the offices. It was awesome to see him and show off where I’ve been!

Every morning when I wake up…

I’ve been hoping to keep y’all up to speed on my activities in Orlando, but I haven’t found time to touch base in the past few weeks. You know what? That’s a fairly accurate summation of my days right there!

In the weeks since I last wrote, I’ve begun my internship. I rise (or hit snooze…) each morning at 6 a.m., and I strive to be out the door by 7:20. That’s quite the accomplishment for me – as some of you know, I am not a morning person! I spend the bulk of my day in a spacious (to me) cubicle at Crusade’s headquarters.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been developing a travel section for the staff Web site that we’re developing. We’re also beginning a series of profile pieces that I’m very excited to write!

Every day is a blessing because I’m given more opportunities than I would have with many other companies. My duty here isn’t to answer the phone or file papers; in fact, I have my own line and a company e-mail address! (No, it doesn’t take much to get me excited. You should’ve seen our reactions to our nameplates on our first day!)

Surprisingly, I’ve made these adjustments in my routine without much affect. By the time we leave for work, I’m feeling pretty perky. (Okay, maybe not ready to burst into song – but I’m not dragging, either.) Our schedules are still busy outside of work… in fact, why don’t I just give you an overview of an average week?

Monday
Work: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Department devotions: 9-11 a.m.
Dinner & weekly meeting: 6-9:30 p.m.

Tuesday
Work: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Dinner & Bible study: 6-9:30 p.m.

Wednesday
Work: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Reflection night: 7-9 p.m.

Thursday
Work: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
FREE NIGHT

Friday
Work: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Training & meetings: 9 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Activity at night

Saturday
Outreach: 9 a.m.-noon
Activity: 7-9 p.m.

Sunday
Church & lunch: 10:02 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.

I hope to write again soon, but in the meantime, I appreciate your prayers! If you’re in the Orlando area this summer, I encourage you to drop by. It’s neat to be in close proximity to so many different aspects of this ministry, and I thank y’all for enabling me to be here.