I say a little prayer for you

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Finally!

Those of you who have been keeping up with my life know that I’ve been searching for an internship since October. Thirteen rejections later, I’ve finally secured a position! It looks like I’ll be spending my summer at Campus Crusade for Christ’s HQ in Orlando, Fla.

Whew.

Now that we’ve established that… this brings up several new thoughts. I’d love your prayer (or wisdom, if you’ve got it!) in any or all of these areas.

1. Support raising. $2500 by June 7… ready, set, GO!
2. Intern for credit. I’m meeting with my adviser on Monday to discuss this possibility.
3. What’s next? My lease will run out while I’m in Florida. I’ve got to decide if we’re renewing through the fall. Is it worth a couple thousand dollars to stay in Tuscaloosa when I won’t even be on campus? Will my roomie move back to California if I leave town? Will I get a fall internship? The questions – and possibilities – are numerous.

This journey of faith continues… 🙂

Keeping time

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I’ve got a little habit that I’ve only recently realized is strange.

I celebrate the anniversaries of all sorts of things – mentally, at the very least. Let me give you a few examples.

26 April 2004 – 2 year anniversary of college graduation
24 May 2004 – 23rd birthday of the guy I liked for three years in my early teens
4 June 2004 – 12 year anniversary of that time we went to Disney World in sixth grade
1 July 2004 – 7 year anniversary of getting my braces off
25 Oct 2004 – 2 years since one painful DTR, 3 years since another
2 Nov 2004 – 5 years of walking with the Lord
12 Nov 2004 – 9 years since I performed in a NFL halftime show

You get the idea. Some of these events are rather significant; I’ll probably tally the years since my college graduation and since I got real in my faith for decades to come. Although some of the events I remember are silly, the others have served as mile markers for me. I can look at some major points in my life and recognize how far I’ve come since.

I remember the freedom that I felt at Providence Canyon. That was the day that I decided I wasn’t going on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ (two years ago this month). I remember the tears I cried on the drive to Matt Schoolfield’s graduation party. I can’t forget driving through the streets of Trussville and bawling as “Somewhere North” filled my car.

And if I’m wise, neither will I forget the lessons that Jesus has taught me in the time since.

Hope springs eternal

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Internship updates:

  • 7 down, 7 to go – I received a rejection by e-mail (a novel response!) yesterday. Sorry, Kathleen – The Patriot Ledger’s out!
  • But more importantly – I received a phone call today from the mecca of Southern magazine internships. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! Southern Progress wants to interview me! I’ve got an interview with Health magazine on the 15th. You can add that to your prayer lists. 🙂

    • But in the meantime, don’t stop here. Read the next entry! Don’t skip over it just because you see something newer. 🙂

    Sacrilege or sainthood?

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    You think the sound of Bible pages turning is nice? Try the sound of ripping them out.

    Okay, just one page – and before you get your panties in a twist, I should probably explain myself.

    It seems that I’m too hard on my Bibles. It’s not that I read them too much (I only wish that were the problem!) – they just have a tendency to fall apart on me.

    The pages of my Bible have separated from the binding. The last two pages of maps split from one another, leaving the innards of the book’s bonded leather cover exposed. I’ve had this particular Bible for just under two years. I promise you I haven’t read it that much.

    Actually, this is the second time I’ve had a Bible fall apart on me. Two years ago, the end of Revelation fell out of my NIV Student Bible. I was extremely disappointed – that’s the best part! That’s where we win! The deterioration of that text lead to the purchase of my NIV Thinline (eggplant in color. I thought I was so original, and then Alisa came home one day with the exact same Bible! :))

    When I realized that both are Zondervan products, I decided that they must be out to get me. Alisa brought home their customer service number for me. This morning, I finally remembered to give them a call in an effort to straighten things out.

    That straightening took no longer than the amount of time I spent on hold. After reading the ISBN to the customer service rep, he asked for my name and address. “You’ll receive a replacement Bible in 6-10 business days,” he informed me.

    The process was so easy, in fact, that all I’m expected to do in return is to send them a thin piece of paper with the reason for the replacement written on it.

    As I ripped the requested title page from my Bible, I thought, “Surely Zondervan deserves a shout-out.”

    Customer service in exchange for destroying a small part of the Bible? Whatever works. 😉

    (And before you get up in arms about that, realize I am being faceitious. It’s a title page! And a book, for goodness sake – not the actual word of God. Respect it, yes, but I don’t deify it. ;))

    Obedience, not feelings

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    This morning marked my first church visit in almost a month. I’ve missed the past three Sunday mornings for various reasons – pretty good reasons, actually. But in spite of those valid excuses, I’ve been struggling with a reluctance to attend church. My experience with the last church I regularly attended left me bitter and scared. I felt like I had allowed myself to be vulnerable and was only burned by the experience. I didn’t want to try again.

    But I’ve lived long enough to know that what I want and what I need don’t always line up. I need the fellowship that the body of Christ provides. Though I read and study the Bible in my own time, I need the biblical teaching as well. Often, I need the call to worship – I forget how important it is to focus my attention on Jesus alone.

    It was nice to sing along with a bunch of strangers in Sunday school this morning, and to appreciate the choir in the worship service. The sermon wasn’t the hardest hitting teaching I’ve been exposed to, but the pastor’s words encouraged me to be thankful for my blessings. During both the Sunday school lesson and the sermon, I found myself flipping through my prematurely worn-out Bible, searching for relevant scriptures.

    Yeah, it’s a good day. 🙂

    And it’s you I see but you don’t see me

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    Mmmm. It’s been ages since I’ve spent a weekend alone. Chris Martin is crooning at me from my television set as the rest of the band provides background. A bottle of my favorite “low carb light beer” is perched atop my history notebook – an able coaster while I pause from this paper. (Lest you think me an alkie, it’s one drink. Any more than that when I’m alone leaves me worrying about myself. 😉 ) The aforementioned notebook is kept company by a host of library books. A stack of some 50-odd magazine and newspaper articles will soon join the party. My apartment is hoppin’ tonight. 😉

    Though this weekend promises to be slow, I think sometimes sacrificing a good time in favor of something else is worthwhile. For one, it’s not often that I have the apartment to myself at night. I don’t miss it, really, but I feel that I should take advantage anyway. A little CJ time never hurt anybody!

    More importantly, my intent is to invest my weekend in schoolwork. Yeah, I’m a stick in the mud. But besides authoring a brilliant paper that will examine the characteristics of journalists at the turn of the 20th century, I’m freeing myself up for the next week.

    On Tuesday evening, I’ll arrive in Jacksonville, Florida. This will be my first trip home in four months. I’d say it’s about dang time! Until now, I’ve never missed Jacksonville. When I moved away in August of ’99, I never looked back. Then, my only regret was that I was still in state. Now, I’m counting the days till I head back. Bring on that “wretched little town”! 😉

    I’ve grown quite a bit in the past four months. I was reflecting on this earlier today, and realized that I could probably utter those words after any given four month period and they’d be just as true. Still, this is a natural time for reflection. I’m not the same girl today as I was the last time I was in Jacksonville – nor do I think I’ll be the girl I am now on my next visit.

    Growth is a beautiful thing. (And on that note… back to the history paper.)

    When she says she wants somebody else, I hope you know she doesn’t mean you

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    Old patterns are hard to break. I’ve been challenged to revamp some of mine lately, and it’s been an interesting process.

    Take my study habits as an example. Though not a genius, I’m a rather intelligent girl. I breezed through high school with a GPA worthy of scholarships and honor societies. I may have studied a total of five hours during my years there. College years found me at Florida State, where I quickly learned that many of my advanced placement high school classes were more challenging than my college coursework. I graduated in three years with little effort and plenty of play.

    That attitude is no where to be found now. A weekend away from the books is a special treat and requires advance planning. Time management skills must be honed. I guess I’m preparing for the “real world.” 😉

    Similarly, my interactions with others are under scrutiny. A friend called me on my mind games recently. I’m such a girl, and I know that I play games. (I admitted as much in that conversation.) Since then, I’ve been mindful of those games. My inclination is still to beat around the bush on a couple of issues. I’m adjusting my way of thinking – slightly! – to another. After all, it can be fun to joke around – I think sarcasm is really the sixth love language. 🙂

    Let’s not forget the aforementioned football loyalty struggle. I won’t readdress it, but it does merit similiar attention.

    All of this reminds me that life is constantly changing. I wonder if there comes a point when that statement will no longer ring true. After I’ve “settled down,” will life retain this element of insanity? Will I be bored if it does not? The answer awaits down the road, I suppose.

    Memories #6

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    Top Ten College Memories: Memory #9

    April 19, 2002

    When it comes to nostalgia, I’ll admit that I’m a blubbering mess. I hate crying in public, but I express my emotions through my eyes so frequently that it’s hard to avoid. 🙂

    That was the case on a spring evening in 2002, one week prior to my college graduation. I was active in Campus Crusade for Christ during my years at Florida State, and we celebrate the graduation of our seniors every spring by hosting a banquet for the entire ministry.

    The banquet for this particular year was slightly different from the others I had attended. Instead of church clothes, we went semi-formal. Our staff interns were leaving that semester, as well. We opened the banquet with several ladies performing a dance to “I Can Only Imagine,” and concluded with music and dancing.

    But of course the biggest difference in my eyes was that I was graduating. This evening was a celebration of all that had happened in the three years prior – while it was a tear eliciting event, it was also a joyful occassion. The words that my friend Stacy spoke about our friendship were a blessing, but I don’t think I started crying until after I saw tears running down my roommate Alison’s face. We had lived together since our freshman year, and God did a lot in both of our lives during that time.

    After all of the seniors had been introduced, we moved into the music and fun portion of the evening. Heather approached me with a gift that Joyce had sent with her. (Joyce was in Minnesota preparing for a mission trip and getting to know her future husband. 😉 ) I read the card included and laughed as I reached the end – “Please ask Heather to hug you right now… pretend those are my arms.” Hebs gave me an authentic Joyce hug, and I laughed through the tears.

    (I guess you could say that Joyce and I have developed a habit of missing these events in each other’s lives. It’s funny – though not in a “ha ha” sort of way – how that works out. She missed my senior banquet and I believe my graduation party, I missed her wedding…)

    That evening holds memories that won’t quickly be forgotten. I treasure the picture of some of my favorite Crusade guys belting out “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” I still dance around a room whenever I hear “I Can Only Imagine.” But most of all, I continue to celebrate the friendships that God continues to use to sharpen me and mold me in His image.

    Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.
    You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will take me into glory.
    Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
    My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.
    Psalm 73:23-26

    Memories #5

    Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

    Top Ten College Memories: Memory #1
    I realize that I’m going out of order for a typical countdown. However, this particular memory celebrates its anniversary today, so I thought it appropriate to post now.

    November 2, 1999

    “I can’t do this on my own any more,” I prayed silently. “I’m either doing it with You or not at all.”

    Those words, uttered in the public bathroom of my freshman dorm, have colored the four years that have elapsed since. I didn’t realize how significant they were at the time, but it was on this day four years ago that I began to walk with Jesus.

    My story isn’t a drastic one. So many people who become Christians during college are turning from a rebellious lifestyle. Technically, I did the same, but my rebellion was much quieter.

    I was the quintessential “goody-two-shoes” – rarely in trouble, good grades, active in school. I talked back to my parents and I thought I knew far more than I did, but otherwise I was much less mischevious than the typical teenager.

    As my high school graduation approached, I began to question my behavior. Why did I do the things that I did – or not do them, as the case may be? In the past, my answer was usually, “Because God said not to.” I proclaimed a belief in Christ, but I didn’t understand what difference He made. Though I called myself a Christian, I lived for my own purposes.

    That tendency was amplified as I graduated from high school and entered college. I searched for meaning in my friends, in boys, in a sorority, but couldn’t find it anywhere. I watched the people around me and saw that most of them were as lost as I was.

    The difference was in the friends who were following Christ. Through their lives, I saw that Jesus was more than a ticket to heaven. He impacted how they lived each day on earth, as well. I wanted that – and so that is what I asked for that November afternoon in Dorman Hall.

    In compiling a list of my top college memories, it was inevitable that this one had to be listed first. It wasn’t a dramatic day for me – I went about my business as usual, and no one knew the difference. Still, it marked a turning point that has influenced every following day. At the time, I wasn’t sure that I would still be following Jesus after six months. I’m still young, but it’s already been quite a bit longer than that.

    My life is markedly different now than it was during the first few months following that decision. Then I was zealous, eager to learn all that I could. What those first months contained in breadth, the years since have made up for in depth. Now, each day is a steady step onward. Sometimes I long for the days of my youth – spiritual milk is easier to digest than the meat on which I now dine.