When it gets cold outside and you’ve got nobody to love…

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I’m in a good mood today.

It’s funny, or perhaps pathetic, how much circumstances really affect my mood. It hasn’t been that long since I was keeping track of my mood in my planner, since I discussed how a day can go quickly sour for no apparent reason. And, okay, I know I still have those days. I think I always will, I think it’s just part of being the slightly-insane CJ that I am.

Lately, those days have come most frequently on the weekends. I get lonely sometimes, you know? But I’ve done a very good job of staying busy over the past couple of weeks. The other night I was on the phone with my friend Josh, who also just moved to a new place, and we celebrated the fact that we both have weekend plans. We were very proud of ourselves for not being complete losers. 🙂

I exaggerate, I know. I don’t actually think I’m a loser (well, maybe I do one day out of each year–but not in general).

But as I was saying, today is a good day. I’m on day two of a four day weekend, and that feels awfully nice. I didn’t do much of anything yesterday. I was going to be productive, but I ended up having coffee with Jordan instead. Then last night I stayed home alone with my cat and the dog and just relaxed. I cleaned my room, did some laundry, read a bit… it was nice.

Today, and probably the rest of the weekend, won’t be so low-key. I’m going to the lake with some work friends this afternoon, then to BIRMINGHAM (like that’s unusual!) for some baseball this evening. (Watching, not playing. Of course.)

And just in case you forgot, my birthday is Tuesday.

I might write something coherent soon… but today I’m just in a stream-of-consciousness rambling state of mind.

When life don’t seem worth living, come to Jesus, let him hold you in his arms

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Susan passed this to me a while ago but I’m just now getting around to it… I’ll save my real entry for tomorrow (or well, someday)…

Total Number of Books I Own: Most of my books are in Birmingham… since I am not, I’ll have to guess. I’d say around 50 though. I’ve gotten really good at NOT buying books. Mostly I go through the library first and if the book is SO good that I HAVE to have it in my collection I start looking for a used copy. Not that this process always works…

Last Book I Bought:

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby… which, by the way, did not go through the aforementioned reviewing process and which I could probably live without. It’s good, but it’s probably my least favorite of his so far.

Books I’m Reading Now:

Nothing really. I’m re-reading Blue Like Jazz.

Books That Have Been Important To Me:

Ummm… gosh. I guess I’m not as attached to books as you might expect a writer to be. That’s kind of weird!

I’d say To Kill A Mockingbird, but that’s more because it’s my favorite novel (classic, prize winning novel, anyway). But it isn’t important to me in the sense that Susan described, the “shaped who I am” kind of sense.

Tim Downs’ Finding Common Ground, on the other hand, really got me thinking about my life, my goals, my gifts and my personality… and all of that kind of pushed me back on the path to journalism instead of considering full time ministry. (And by the way, that has to be one of the best decisions I ever made… which isn’t to say anything bad about the ministry I thought about going on staff with, but just that I love my job and I feel like I get to really know people more than I probably would have in that context, given my personality and such. Anyway. Ramble.)

Let’s see. So long as I’m talking about journalism, I really, really love The Landry News by Andrew Clements. I was so excited when I saw that they’re making mass market copies for $2.99 now! I really want it in hardback (and hey! my birthday is in 12 days!), but I couldn’t pass up a cheap copy of one of my favorite books. (And yes. It is a children’s book. And it is brilliant.)

And just so you know, Songbook, by Nick Hornby, is the book I wish I wrote. Only if it were mine, the f-bomb would be there in a few less times. ‘Cause I really hate that word. Unless Damien Rice is singing it, in which case it magically doesn’t matter.

You’re the answer to all my songs

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I knew Alisa was gonna pass this to me. 🙂 It’s time for (what seems to be) everyone’s favorite meme lately.

Amount of music on your computer?
I barely use iTunes because my computer is so unreliable (although I love love love iTunes!), so I’m only at 29 songs, 2.2 hours, 187.4 mb.

Currently listening to?
Time the Revelator by Gillian Welch. I think she was the highlight of my first concert in Birmingham (City Stages 2002… it was COLD that night!).

Mmmm, and now “Zombie” by The Cranberries… which reminds me of an eighth grade dance. And my first crush on a younger man… Chaz someone-or-other. (What kind of name is Chaz?)

Five songs that mean a lot to you?
“Reasons Why” by Nickel Creek
Besides the fact that I identify with the song all too often, it brings back a lot of memories. I remember the night when Amanda came over with this CD (before Crusade one Tuesday, I think) and played a few songs from it for me. I ran out the very next day and bought it, and Nickel Creek has been my favorite band ever since. They were also the soundtrack of several games of Clue.

Hmmm. I could go for a good round of Clue.

“Be Careful” by Patty Griffin
This isn’t my favorite Patty song–not even close–but it’s the one that made me fall in love with her music. A friend sent me the mp3 one night when I was pretty upset about boy stuff (blah blah), and I listened to the song over… and over… and over… and over again. And then I went out and bought everything Patty I could get my hands on.

“Faith My Eyes” by Caedmon’s Call (I almost just wrote Derek Webb… same difference)
Besides the fact that this is probably my favorite Caedmon’s song, it’s also the song that was playing as I crossed the state line for my big move to Alabama two years ago. It’s as appropriate now as it was then.

“Crush” by Dave Matthews Band
Because there’s not much better than flying down the highway on a winter night with the windows down and Dave turned up LOUD.

“Winter’s Ending” by Tara Leigh Cobble
(I was going to put “Clarity” by John Mayer, but I already had a good Alisa song on there. And then I was going to put “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something, but I already had senior year of college memories included. So I thought I’d diversify a little bit and put something that’s more me than anything else.)

I’ve blogged about this song more times than anyone probably cares to read, but it’s so me! (Okay, it’s so TLC’s friend that she wrote it about. But I can relate.) I think I’m softening up a lot though, so maybe the song is decreasingly relevant to my mindset…

or maybe Alisa will respond to this and tell me I’m full of it. Who knows? 🙂

Top five albums?
This changes all the time, but for today I’ll say…
This Side by Nickel Creek
O by Damien Rice
Deceiver by Chris Thile
I See Things Upside Down by Derek Webb
1,000 Kisses by Patty Griffin

I’d say that’s a pretty good list.

Last album bought?
I believe it was Holly Williams’ “The Ones We Never Knew,” which I purchased with the $10 bill Aaron and Alisa argued over in California. Fun story (and great album)!

Recent discoveries?
I really don’t know. I’ve been listening to “Breathe (2 a.m.)” by Anna Nalick a lot lately, but I’ve had that song on my iTunes for… gosh… probably a year?

And the baton goes to:
Patrick (I don’t know if he’ll ever look here though)
Philip (if he reads this stuff anymore)
Cristin (well… she reads my LJ, I’ll cross-post)
Megan (she hasn’t updated in a little while anyway)
Danielle (I think the Patty Griffin exchange means we’re music friends now.)

Everybody’s waiting for me to fall

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I recently ran into someone who always made me feel dowdy and unsophisticated. I’ve always been a little self conscious about my appearance… guys used to make fun of me all the time in high school, and people used to tell me it must be difficult being best friends with someone who was as beautiful as my best buddy was. I always felt like second fiddle.

Well, when I ran into this particular person, they said, “You look great as usual.” This person then turned to the friend I was with and added, “CJ always looks great no matter what. The girl can eat anything and not gain a pound.”

So it was a relatively insignificant encounter, a relatively meaningless statement… but as I left the restaurant that evening, I thought about how much more self confident I’ve become in even the two years since I first met that person.

Part of that is probably because I’ve adopted some of the “cultural norms” of this crazy state. It’s a subtle thing, but I don’t think I dress quite as casually as I did when I first moved here. I probably wear more make up. I’m generally a little prissier, a little girlier… I guess I’m a Bama girl, at least nominally.

But I hope there’s more to my new-found confidence than physical changes. I think I’ve become more generally accepting of my quirks and my personality than I used to be. I’m more focused on my goals in life and less on trying to fit someone else’s ideals. I think I’m kind of a “grown up”–at least, as much as someone who uses the term “grown up” can be. 😉

I still get freaked out when boys tell me I’m hot, though… even if they are junior highers. 😛

What’s the use in all these words

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I clean out my CD collection periodically. I guess part of my obsessive nature is that I don’t like to hang on to music that I don’t really listen to. The money I get for selling them is only a fraction of what I paid, but I take it as the price I pay for impulse buys.

Keane is a good example… I love “Somewhere Only We Know” and my friends raved about them, so I grabbed the disc for $8.99 at Target. But I wasn’t impressed, and I already had the aforementioned single on a Paste sampler, so $3 was worth more to me than a CD I wouldn’t really play. Off they went to my used store of the month.

Today is another clean out, mostly prompted by an upcoming Chuck Klosterman book. But even though there are several discs I rarely play, some of them retain too many fond memories to sell.

Most of my Caedmon’s Call catalogue falls into that category. I never listen to In the Company of Angels, and I skip more than half of the tracks on Back Home. (I rarely even play 40 Acres, and it’s my favorite!)

I feel like I should load my favorite tracks onto iTunes and get rid of the hard copies. Besides the questionable ethics of that, I just can’t abandon the albums. I bought ITCOA after I fell for Caedmon’s. It was summer 2002 and I was stuck on a lonely mountain in southern California. Few of the songs resonated with me, but those that did, I loved deeply.

Robinella & the CC String Band are probably on their way to a new home, charming as I do find their album. The fact is, I never listen to it and the memory it elicits is a particularly bad (though now irrelevant) one. “Man Over” is my favorite track but it also reminds me of the tears I shed over someone’s drunkenness. That’s not something I want around.

But it’s not the man, it’s the drug

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

This is what I want to know: is it normal for your music collection to be affected by your boyfriend/crush/friendly member of the opposite sex du jour? I mean, I think it makes perfect sense, but my tastes have always been affected that way.

Those influences were interestingly contradictory when I was a high school senior. The first guy I dated labeled a John Michael Montgomery tune “our song” and won me a stuffed animal that Kevin Sharp carried through our local fair. Even after we broke up we attended a Shania Twain concert together. (Ever the princess, I slept in and awaited his call to confirm we got the tickets while he waited in line on a Saturday morning.)

My other high school boyfriend could hardly be further from country. He bought me Fuel tickets for my birthday. We went on a trip to Daytona (gag puke) for a Less Than Jake concert. It was under his influence that I got into Reel Big Fish and Limp Bizkit (later eradicated from my collection in The Great CD Clean Out of 1999).

My taste continued to fluctuate through college, in part because of whoever I was hanging out with and sometimes because of who I had a crush on. Heather, Jon and Mike encouraged my country phase. Apryl introduced me to Jennifer Knapp. Philip and Amanda brought Nickel Creek to my attention. Philip also added a little Tiger pride (and conversational piece) to my CD collection, and along with Stacy, he launched my interest in Caedmon’s Call. Jesse played Diana Krall (which Geof later purchased), who served as a reminder that I needed to get into some real jazz. (Two Miles Davis discs later, my collection is still weak.)

The trend continued as Brandon sent me a Counting Crows mix and an autographed Andrew Osenga album. (He also recommended Miles selections, though I haven’t purchased his next choice yet.)

I think Scott has had the greatest (individual) influence on my recent-ish purchases, though. Ryan Adams, Dave Matthews Band (yes, I was terribly late jumping on this bandwagon), possibly Damien Rice, Coldplay and Johnny Cash all wormed their way into my heart at his urging. That’s 18 CDs purchased as a direct result of his influence. Given that I own fewer than 200 albums, that’s quite the percentage.

Huh. I’m not sure I like that. I play the “independent woman” card too often to be comfortable with a man exerting that much power in my life. Yes, my girl friends make recommendations too, but I never seem to spend quite as much based on their opinions.

Or maybe it’s just because I liked/”dated” Scott at the height of my CD buying days. (He does spend more at Best Buy than most people I know. That could also be a factor.) In any case, his influence remains more than a year after we “broke up.” I can’t wait for the new Ryan Adams double disc album to be released next week… and as it’ll be my first day of work, don’t you think that’s a worthwhile splurge? 🙂

I’m supposed to be falling for the newish Hem disc, Eveningland, sometime soon at the urging of Geof, Aaron and Bjorn. I’ll let you know how that goes. 😉

Can I call myself a journalist if it’s only temporary?

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Well I sure hope so…

’cause I GOT A JOB!

No, I don’t know when I start. I have to take a drug test first (I haven’t had one of those since high school!) and they said they’d like me to start ASAP. I don’t really know when that’ll be, so I’ll get back to you on that one. 🙂

I’m filling in for the health & religion writer at a nearby newspaper while said reporter is out of the country. (That means an average of four articles per week from start date until June 17, which is my last day of temporary employment.) There is a possibility of being kept on full time after this temp work ends, but I’ll let you know whether that works out come June.

And um, that’s all for now. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? I’ll come back with a REAL update… sometime.

Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I think my sense of humor is broken.

At my brother’s demand I watched a DVD of this comedian, Tim Hawkins, who the rest of the fam went to see when he was in Jacksonville a few weeks ago. Chad had been performing this guy’s skits since I arrived in town yesterday afternoon, and I thought they’d probably be funnier when the comedian did them.

Wrong.

I laughed a couple times, sure, but mostly I kept a straight face and wondered when I could grab a book. This always happens to me! I can’t stand Jim Carrey, I don’t “get” Seinfeld, I thought Blue Collar Comedy Tour was okay.

But as long as Friends is in syndication… there will be laughter in my life, even while everyone else is busy wondering what’s wrong with me.

I don’t wanna wait for our lives to be over

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I’m becoming Ross Geller in my old age!

Do you remember the episode of Friends when Ross bunks up with Chandler and Joey? At first it’s fun—playing cowboys and Indians in a fort must be the male equivalent to chocolate and, well, old episodes of Friends at a girly gathering. 😉

But the good times didn’t last. Ross had work to do, and his obsessive need for silence (and that annoying hand motion/facial expression combination) drove Chandler and Joey to playing foosball in Joey’s bedroom. Even then they couldn’t escape Ross’s reprimand.

In my fourth day of substitute teaching, I encountered rowdier classes and a more cavalier attitude toward schoolwork. And as they refused to write their papers, I found myself morphing into Ross, pairing pleas of “settle down!” with that obnoxious hand motion.

But as those classes were mostly boys who proclaimed “there is a God! I’m going to church on Sunday!” after discovering that I was their sub… I’m fairly confident that they forgave me.

Now, if only my seventh graders will be so lax…