It’s getting hot in here…

When you live this far inland, a hurricane-turned-tropical-storm is the perfect time to catch up on your reading and writing.

My roommate was convinced our house wasn’t safe to stay in last night, and I was nervous too after checking hte tropical storm and tornado watches. I found myself a spare bedroom, created a storm shelter for my cat and took off.

(A sidenote: I’ve really got to relax a little. I spent way too much time worrying about my cat last night. I couldn’t take her with me, so I shut the hall door and closed off the other end with a mattress. I knew the space wasn’t big enough for the mattress to fall and suffocate her, but I worried that the class plates could fall off the wall, or she would tear up the mattress in an attempt to get out, or that she’d just get lonely. Of course, none of that happened, except maybe the lonely part.)

My phone died early in the night, so I had no idea what time it was when I started writing or when I went to bed. (It didn’t occur to me until I was in bed to find a clock elsewhere in the apartment.) But I managed to fill something like six journal pages and a sheet of notebook paper, so it was a good night, even as high strung as I was.

I was woken this morning by the power cutting on and off — printers are pretty loud when that happens! I brushed my teeth and wandered home to assess the damage (or lack thereof). We had plenty of limbs down but the trees were all standing, as far as I could tell. My cat was fine but glad to see me. Our power was definitely out, though (and as far as I know, it still is).

Our hot water heater is the only thing in the house on the gas line, so I showered in the dark and then fixed my face on the front porch (where it was MUCH cooler). I’m at Crimson now (where it’s also hot, but there’s power and I can charge my cell phone!), but I’m gonna take off here in a bit ’cause I’m kind of bored.

Here’s hoping that our power comes back before the end of the day…

oh! and today is my first day off in a week! Too bad there’s nothing to do, but at least I’m not at work! Rock on.

How could I forget? Momma said, ‘Think before speaking’

I need you to remind me to stop complaining about work all the time.

It’s not that it doesn’t suck — it totally does. I wanted to quit at least three times last night (and therefore sent out three text messages asking friends to remind me not to quit… ’cause well, that’s counter-productive. and because sending text messages somehow makes the job less lonely). But whining about it all the time doesn’t make it suck less, it just makes me less enjoyable to be around.

So can you help me remember that? please?

And on a similiar note (crap, how do you spell similiar? is that right? And did you know that “crapulous” or however it was spelled is a word? it basically means hungover, which means I don’t have much cause to use it. but it made me laugh really hard. this is why word of the day calendars are awesome.) Oh. right, that similiar note: I am off work today and tomorrow and so I’m going to go do… something. I already had breakfast with Katie (yay! Katie’s my favorite) which involved much discussion of… everything, because we’re crazy. But now everyone is working or in school or whatever, so I’m going to have some good CJ time. Even though that’s not what I want, ’cause that’s all I feel like I ever get anymore ’cause I work when normal people are free. But whatever.

Somehow typing all this out makes it feel less lonesome. Well, and I really DO want y’all to remind me to stop being a big baby. I don’t like who I become in these circumstances. I don’t want to be her. She’s not a very nice girl. And she mutters cuss words under her breath when pictures don’t fit on the page she wants. Which is really silly.

As is this entry.

Bye bye!

Am I the habit you’re too tired to break

I need a hug.

Not for any big reason — no crazy nights resulting in tears and driving around town for an hour tonight. (I wouldn’t be home already if that were the case. 🙂 )

I’m just tired, a little burnt out, plenty stressed. …and at the same time, I’m bordering on optimistic, feeling a little ambitious and itching to put down roots. (Well, one- to three-year deep roots, but roots nonetheless.)

I’m not sure if some of those emotions are contradictory, but that’s where I am today.

My top 25 most played from iTunes

1. “Breathe (2 a.m.)” Anna Nalick (36)
2. “Wedding Day” Rosie Thomas (27)
3. “Cold Hard Bitch” Jet (24)
4. “Come to Jesus” Mindy Smith (20)
5. “I’m Nowhere and You’re Everything” Chris Thile (16)
6. “Volcano (instrumental)” Damien Rice (15)
7. “Here’s to Hindsight” Tara Leigh Cobble (14)
8. “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” Jet (14)
9. “Goodbye Until Tomorrow” Lauren Kennedy (14)
10. “All Night” Sam Phillips (14)
11. “Springtime Indiana” Sandra McCracken (14)
12. “Close of Autumn” Caedmon’s Call (13)
13. “For What It’s Worth” The Cardigans (13)
14. “Will the Lord Indeed Appear” RMC (13)
15. “Raining at Sunset” Chris Thile (12)
16. “Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior” RMC (12)
17. “I Miss Those Days” Andrew Osenga (11)
18. “Bare to the Bone” Carrie Newcomer (11)
19. “Seven” RMC (11)
20. “Melancholy Polly” Allison Moorer (10)
21. “Secret Garden” Bruce Springsteen (10)
22. “I Boast No More” Caedmon’s Call (10)
23. “Cheers Darlin'” Damien Rice (10)
24. “Unplayed Piano” Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan (10)
25. “Twelve” RMC (10)

Hmm. That was interesting.
Songs that I’m surprised didn’t make the list:
“On Ice” Chris Thile
“High and Dry” Jamie Cullum
Anything from 40 Acres Caedmon’s Call

Songs that I suspect are on their way up:
“500 Miles” Sandra McCracken
“Past the Point of Rescue” Hal Ketchum
“Living in a Moment” Ty Herndon
“Amazing” Josh Kelley
“Painting Pictures of Egypt” Sara Groves

Songs that I’m surprised DID make the list:
“Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior” RMC
(I guess that’s it… I would’ve thought “Jesus, I Long for Thee” or “Christ, Or Else I Die” before that…)

I can’t decide what to wear to church, so I thought this would be a nice way to procrastinate. 🙂

If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?

So I’m not in love with my job right now. The hours, more than anything, are wearing on me, but I really miss writing too. Anyway, I have determined that I need to do my very best, even while I hope that they find me a reporting position or else I find a job somewhere else. (I need you to remind me of this, though.)

To that end, we made a list tonight of things for me to do during the daytime, since I work 2:30 – 11:30 p.m. Or well, it started off as daytime, but then it grew to include overarching goals, some of which were written by friends after they’d ingested multiple drinks and/or pitchers of beer. But I think I’ll attempt them anyway.

* Find a dance class
* PARA stuff? (parks and recreation authority… sometimes they have fun class type things… like belly dancing!)
* Volunteer somewhere, but not at the animal shelter
* Guitar lessons
* Coffee shops (of course)
* Write a book
* Drink beer straight from pitcher
* Read football for dummies
* Pick up men at the law library
* Go on three dates in one month (any takers? this is a project-level task!)
* Do something daring no one would expect

Ready? …and GO.

I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life

I definitely just scrubbed my ankle with nail polish remover.

I swear I’m sane.

I have lots of twentysomething uncertain insecure happy-go-lucky arrogant confused thoughts running through my head. While I attempt to sort them out, I’ll leave you with a few lines from one of my favorite John Mayer songs. (I am still obsessed with this song, more than three years after I first fell in love with it. I really REALLY want to go to Oak Mountain today instead of going to work.)

(Hmmm. Anyone wanna go stomp around on Oak Mountain this weekend?)

So what, so I’ve got a smile on
But it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don’t believe me
When I say I’ve got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That’s the danger in going my own way
I guess it’s the price I have to pay
Still “everything happens for a reason”
Is no reason not to ask myself

Am I living it right?

This day’s been crazy but everything’s happened on schedule

I don’t have much to say. I just really wanted to use that subject line. 🙂

I had a good, albeit exhausting and discombobulated, day. I switched from reporting to the copy desk this week. (For those of you non-journalists, that means instead of writing, I’m editing for style and grammar as well as designing pages.) The hours are 2:30 – 11:30 p.m., so when I woke up this morning, I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. Somewhere along the way I’ve become a morning person, so right now my poor little body is utterly confused.

But a cup of coffee (O’Henry’s African roast) brought me to life. I had lunch with Kate at Cobblestone – it was good to get to know her a little more and to talk about all sorts of things, past and present and possibly future. Hopefully we can do that again. I think we have a lot in common!

Then it was back to work. I am enjoying learning all this stuff, but wow oh wow, I’m exhausted right now. It doesn’t help that I’ve had tummy problems all day, either. 😛 In any case, I think my pages for tomorrow look lovely, even if no one else will pay them any mind.

They’re already asking me if I want to stay on the copy desk permanently (and already realizing that my heart is really in writing). I mean, it’s hard to say after only two nights… but the hours are not my style, how do you have a life outside the newsroom? How do you have friends who have normal jobs? I don’t get that. But this is definitely something I want to learn… I just don’t anticipate falling in love with it. I mean, I’ve been obsessed with writing for almost 15 years.

Crappy crap crap. I just realized I can’t go to RMC on Sunday. I have to WORK.

For now, I think I’ll drift to sleep with the sounds of RMC in my ears…

“How full of doubts I live, though full of grace thou art”

She’ll let you in her heart if you’ve got a hammer and a vice

I spent a lot of time this weekend with two of my favorite Florida State alumni, and a good deal of that time was spent discussing what we (well, what one of us) want out of life. Heather is trying to decide what’s next for her (besides living in Starkville), and in doing that she’s weighing how those options affect “the rest of her life” — marriage, kids, that kind of thing.

It’s hard to plan around something that you don’t have, though.

Anyway, that got me thinking — what do I want out of my life? That’s a hard question to answer at 24… sometimes I still feel like a little kid! But here’s a laundry list of things that crossed my mind:

Marriage (someday)
A kid or two
A pug (Emma needs a playmate)
Maybe write a book (non-fiction)
Learn how to play guitar
Get a job in Birmingham (that’s on the list to do within the next five years)
Visit a total of 25 states before I turn 25 (I’m at 21 and I have 11 months and two weeks to go… anyone up for a road trip?)
Buy a house and paint the kitchen red
Learn how to grill (although my current method of making guys do it has proven successful in the past)
Freelance enough to actually make a little bit of money off of it
Go to another country
Enjoy my career — and I won’t be any more specific than that at this point, ’cause I don’t really know where it’s going
Buy a kayak or canoe
Go back to Arizona
Develop deep relationships with fellow believers (that’s sort of a continual thing)
Take dance classes
Fully enjoy my 20s for all they’re worth, crazy as they seem (that’s a short term goal all right!)
Learn about national politics enough to make informed decisions
Visit my parents more often
Learn how to diagram a sentence
Put money into a 401(k)
See my little brother grow up (I like watching my sisters grow up too, but they’re a LOT closer in age to me!)

…I think that’s enough goals for now…

Rain, rain on my face

Hurricanes (or rather, the rain that the outerbands of such a storm bring to inland areas) have to be one of my favorite weather phenomena… don’t get me wrong, I realize I wouldn’t have this
attitude if I lived on the coast. Well, that’s not true either. I lived within 20 minutes of the beach for 15 years and I’ve always been pretty chill about hurricanes. Maybe I should rephrase, I realize I wouldn’t have this attitude if I lived in a hurricane-devestated area.

But I don’t.

Instead, I think a storm like this is the perfect excuse to hole up in my room with my cat and my roommate’s dog and sift through my CD collection in attempt to create the perfect chill CD… or well, as close as you can get to perfect without investing more money in iTunes. (I spent $6 on my last mixed disc.)

I’ve got the candles lit, the music going, and I think I’ll complete the evening by watching my third favorite movie of all time… Clue.
best t-shirt EVER.