On wine

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Last night I attended a wine tasting. It wasn’t my first, and I doubt it will be my last. But as is so often the case, I found that I didn’t especially like any of the seven wines I sampled.

Friends tell me I just have to keep trying until I find what I like. And it’s not as though I can’t drink the occasional glass with dinner. I’ve attempted that, on and off, over the past six years. I’ve attended wine tastings at a variety of venues and sampled wines my friends love. I’ve even enjoyed a wine weekend at a resort, including a five-course meal with a different wine (or two!) paired with each dish. Some of those were rare bottles, all carefully selected my a wine expert to complement the food. But I didn’t care for more than a sip of each, just to see how the food brought out the drink’s subtleties.

So last night, as I tasted my way through sauvignon blanc, chardonnay, rose, cabernet and others, I declared what probably should be my final word on the subject: Maybe I’m just not a wine person. My palette doesn’t seem to be developed in that particular way. And what am I missing, really? A glass of wine may appear more elegant than a pint of beer… but who doesn’t love the contrast of a girl in a prissy dress drinking a manly stout?

I do believe…

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I believe in God the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth…

I believe in the pleasure of my own company.

I believe in lying in the grass at least once a week.

I believe in eating your fruits and vegetables.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

I believe in the loyalty of a good friend.

I believe in the comfort of a home-cooked meal.

I believe in the value of art and beauty.

I believe in the mystery of music.

I believe in being, and becoming, who you are.

I believe in being a little bit redneck.

I believe in the power of prayer.

I believe in making a soundtrack for every mood.

I believe in making people feel welcome.

I believe in spending Friday nights alone.

I believe in hope.

I believe in having friends who are men.

I (unfortunately) believe in When Harry Met Sally.

I believe in planning for tattoos I’ll never get.

I believe in reading local news.

I believe in revolution.

I believe in expensive coffee.

I believe in family.

I believe in love.

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

A Re rose to BTM’s challenge and composed an essay, lobbying for my continued friendship. Now, since we’ve been friends for nearly nine years and we still talk almost daily, I think she’s got a pretty solid case without submitting a composition. (I wouldn’t mind those monthly payments, though.)

Even so, her essay made me laugh out loud and reminded me of how much I appreciate her friendship. An excerpt:

I am so awesome that only I have the perfect out of tone singing voice to compliment CJ’s and make any one within earshot wish they were deaf while we belt it out loudly and off key. My awesomeness means that CJ profits from my shopaholic ways and gets an occasional box/bag/pile of clothes. I keep her entertained with the total “winners” I’ve dated over the last 9 years of our friendship (there was the stoner, theater major, “Old man”, “Cat”, “Grandpa”, the guy that offered to drive to Bama and buy her a stake, and others that shall remain fond/scary memories).

Find more on Just me thinking out loud…

carla jean is too cool for school, and by school I of course mean you

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

A guest post by Brian T. Murphy, author of worstweblogintheworld.

I was recently visiting my friends at the birmingham magazine, talking about life and the gods and how awesome the loft district is, when carla jean (henceforth referred to as CJ because “carla jean” is exactly 1 syllable longer than any reasonable person would ask you to pronounce for a first name) walked up, talking about how awesome she was.

I was totally like ?whoa?what?s gotten into CJ ? she?s totally talking about how awesome she is.?

We were talking about how so many of our friends have so much stuff going on, dealing with hard life issues, like some of mine are trying to decide which new gulfstream to buy, and which caribbean island they will vacate on, and some of her friends have totally lost feet due to the malaria strain, and another is still bleeding internally from when CJ kicked her in the pancreas.

Big stuff.

And so the conversation inevitably came to how hard it is, dealing with having so many friends, what to do with them all, what to do with a growing list of people requesting friendship that you just simply aren?t sure you can fit in with your already bustling lifestyle.

And so I have developed this list of parameters which you must consider prior to suggesting / considering friendship with CJ:

1. you must hate books. CJ is obviously a snobby book person who would prefer to read in the rain rather than enjoy live music from living legends such as stevie wonder ? but this does not mean that she wants her friends to also be snobby book people. In fact, if you read, or are even literate, CJ probably hates you.

2. you must love contemporary christian music, especially contemporary christian music with lots of synthesizer sounds.

3. you must go to coffee shops with CJ, but instead of drinking coffee, you must pour the coffee over your head and then lick it off your clothes. bonus points for eating your clothes. point deduction for eating CJ’s clothes.

4. you must, while canoeing with CJ, remind her how dreadfully boring canoeing is. remind her that the only thing that could make canoeing interesting would be if you fell out of your canoe, were eaten by a poisonous water snake, drowned in a heavy current, and then saved by carla jean, via lasso rope around your leg, or neck. or, if while canoeing, a battle took place underwater with submarines which shot laser beams at eachother and you could watch the entire thing because your canoe had a glass bottom. or, if monkeys rained down from the sky, because that makes everything interesting, and people generally like monkeys very much.

5. you must talk about how awesome CJ is at all times.

6. you must possess full knowledge of the ryan adams catalogue, and unfortunately, you must also be familiar with nickel creek, even though nickel creek blows.

7. you must feign interest in college athletics, specifically football. (snore)

8. if you see somebody CJ does not like, you must kick them in the pancreas. you must do this even if you like the person very much. one time I saw a woman kick her own mother in the pancreas just so that CJ might be friends with her. It didn’t work, and the mother ended up not making it (sad story). CJ said “if you really wanted to be my friend, you would have put a little more effort – a little more *gusto* – in your pancreas kick. sorry I’m just not convinced that you are serious about this relationship.”

9. you must submit, in writing, a request for friendship (RFF), no longer than 350 words. describe how awesome you are. then describe how awesome CJ is. then apologize for ever suggesting how awesome you are. include photograph (if you are male, preferably shirtless). include deposit check for $1,000. for expedited consideration (and more bonus points) include a deposit check for $5,000.

Once approved for friendship, you will be placed on a 90-day probation period, during which time monthly installments of $500 are due by the 5th of the month. At the conclusion of the probation period, monthly payments are reduced to $450 per month, and it is at this point that you may begin speaking to CJ. If monthly payments are made in a timely manner over a period of two years, you will be placed into a pool of contestants eligible to receive direct eye contact with CJ. Remember to never initiate direct eye contact, but once CJ initiates, you are free to reciprocate.

Also, for extra bonus points, kill cats and make stew out of them and serve them to CJ on special occasions. specifically, make stew out of CJ’s cats.

because CJ loves cat stew.

Back in the neighborhood

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I rejoined the 21st century yesterday. After almost a year without home internet, I finally bought a new computer. (Thanks, Economic Stimulus Plan.)

I can’t deny my excitement–after all, it’s been about eight months since I updated my iPod. I’ve spent the morning adding albums to my iTunes, updating my facebook status to reflect the albums I’ve loaded and texting friends to let them know how many albums I’ve added. (It was 33 at last count, but will be 50-plus by the time I finish. I guess I’ve acquired a few new CDs since my last update!) I’m also thrilled to death with how fast my iPod updates now. My old laptop’s USB ports were not high speed–and oh my gosh, it makes a huge difference. It would have taken eight or nine hours to load 4,000 songs on the old machine. It might have taken an hour last night to bring this thing up to date.

(Yes, I realize I essentially bought this machine so I could update my iPod. Shut up.)

But at the same time, there’s a hint of bittersweetness in this new acquisition. Although it was inconvenient at times, it was sort of nice to be disconnected when I left the office. Now I’ll be able to get directions without texting Google, and I’m certain I’ll be more faithful to this here blog. I can’t wait to look up recipes that use buttermilk when I look in my fridge and realize I’m about to let it go to waste. But I know I’ll also work more after hours and occasionally fight sleep by playing on facebook. (I did not miss facebook.)

I know this, though. A home computer isn’t as essential as we think. I’m hoping (perhaps naively) that mine will still spend a good portion of its time turned off and stowed away.

But that won’t happen until after I finish updating my iPod, for sure.

I’m writing you to catch you up on places I’ve been

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I misplaced my camera a while back. I say misplaced instead of lost because I know it’s in my apartment, somewhere. In the months since it went missing, I’ve relied even more heavily on other people for photos.

Well, both Elisa and I were camera-less for last weekend’s Jazz Fest in New Orleans… but this is what I would have shown you, had I the means.

  • An overcast, windy day
    We arrived at the festival an hour after it started on Friday. Mission one: Food. (We both had crawfish etouffe and cheap, flavorless, domestic beer. I quickly learned that Jazz Fest is all about the food.) Mission two: Set up camp. The main stage wasn’t terribly crowded, perhaps because the sky promised rain. A less crowded festival and breezes to keep us cool made for a glorious afternoon.
  • A dork with a book
    The sky finally delivered just before Stevie Wonder’s set. Everyone scrambled for their ponchos when it began sprinkling, then pulled them off when it cleared up, only to scramble again 10 minutes later. The rain was persistent, forcing me to protect my book from the weather and read through my translucent orange poncho. (Yeah, that’s right. I said I was forced. Putting the book away was not an option!) Someone out there actually has a picture of this… the people next to us found me pretty amusing, I suppose.
  • A dancing hippie (or a few thousand dancing hippies)
    While I was racing toward the final pages of Paper Towns, Elisa threw back her hood and danced in the falling rain. Neighboring dancers even invited her to join them. I suspect she might have had as much fun as I did reading my book!
  • The best festival moment, ever
    As Stevie finally launched into “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” (thank you, California Raisins, for introducing me to this song so many years ago!), the sky responded with equal abandon. Rain poured on what remained of the crowd, and the New Orleans Fairgrounds became a beautiful, muddy dance party. (I was still reading, for a few songs longer anyway.)
  • The aftermath
    The rain returned early the next morning (not that I know from personal experience–I slept through the storm!). By the time we returned to the festival, it was a barely-controlled mud pit. We spread a beach mat below our chairs, prepared to throw it out at the end of the day. We’re smart girls–appropriate shoes and appropriate attire meant that the only mud on us was from our fellow spectators stepping on instead of around us.
  • The look on my face when I realized Community Coffee uses powdered creamer
    Not. OK.
  • Two sleepy girls
    A day in the sun, surrounded by Parrotheads, makes for two smelly, exhausted girls. I was so disgusting when we returned to our hostess’ house that I sat on the floor instead of furniture while I awaited my turn to shower. But exhaustion didn’t keep us from making a late night fast food run…
  • A gorgeous day for eating outside
    We skipped the final day of the festival, instead sleeping in and taking a lazy Sunday morning. I met an old friend who lives nearby for lunch. We sat on the restaurant’s deck, with a view of the water a block away. It was the kind of day when you never want to go inside again.
  • A dork with a deck of cards
    Yeah, I played solitaire on the (passenger side) floorboard of my car during the drive home. And I lost. Every time.
  • Two happy girls
    Road trips with friends have to be one of my favorite things. I could do without gas prices and travel time, but without them, would we have six hours of Beatles, multiple boxes of Nerds and more enthusiastic laughter than I can recount? Doubtful.

I may not have anything physical to show for a long weekend away, but I have memories, music and friends. Sometimes, misplacing your camera isn’t so bad.

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Assorted thoughts:

The Magic City Brewfest website has been updated for 2008!

And speaking of festivals… I’ve been surprised recently as I’ve learned that some people don’t like festivals. It never occurred to me that anyone wouldn’t, but several people have been curious as to why my schedule has been filled with these events recently. (Last week brought the Alabama Crawfish Festival in Faunsdale on Friday, and the Old 280 Boogie in Waverly on Saturday. This weekend, I’ll probably spend three days at Magic City Art Connection. Next weekend I’ll hit the New Orleans Jazz Fest. The end of May brings Magic City Brewfest, and June promises City Stages.) I guess sitting in the sunshine, listening to music and drinking beer isn’t for everyone, but spending Saturday at the Boogie was glorious.

I’m running myself ragged, yet again. I’m looking forward to finding a day or two sometime to sleep in and pad around the apartment in my pajamas all day long. I don’t expect that to happen soon, though…

How do I feel by the end of the day?

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

One good turn deserves another, right? Missy Marie fearlessly plagiarized something I wrote a few weeks ago, and now I’m doing the same to her.

Although we’re five hours apart, distance isn’t much a factor in mine and A Re’s friendship. We talk on the phone probably 15 times a week (and I like to hope that most of the text messages in my in and out boxes are hers, because we’ve got free mobile-to-mobile and I hate getting charged for exceeding my text limit!). While we were chatting the other night, she was finalizing a blog entry that included a list of things that make her happy. She read them aloud, curious to see how many would appear if I made a list.

A list? Of things that make me happy? Sounds like a good antidote to a week filled with allergies and appointments (even if those appointments could, theoretically, be included on said list). So now, with nothing but love in my heart, I’m ripping off and editing her list, then adding a few of my own.

Things that make me happy

  • Hot tea and a good book lying in my big cozy bed (this is actually what I was doing when Apryl called!)
  • The beauty of flowers (especially daffodils and tulips)
  • The way that certain songs make you remember a person or an event
  • A feeling of accomplishment at the end of a work day
  • The spontaneity of just up and leaving town to go visit friends (last weekend!)
  • How sweet and perfect children are when they’re young (Heck, how obnoxious children can be, while still being completely lovable. They’re not always sweet, and they’re certainly not perfect, but I do adore them!)
  • Having friends who I know I can always count on
  • Being a friend that people know they can count on
  • The feeling of wearing high heels and pearls (I don’t actually own pearls, although you should feel free to buy me some…)
  • Movies like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Notebook, High Fidelity, Love Actually and Runaway Bride—stories that have a happily ever after without the story book romance (I hate hate hate HATE The Notebook, and I would have to add When Harry Met Sally, of course.)
  • Writing in my journal—not to be confused with blogging, there’s something about ink and paper (Amen, amen, amen)
  • Singing loudly and off key to sappy love songs when I’m sad and up beat pop when I’m getting ready to go out
  • A latte with 4 sugars and cinnamon powder on top
  • Learning new things
  • Looking to the future
  • Hours on the phone with my BFF
  • Being alone but not lonely
  • Ending a day of work with a vineyard wine tasting
  • Saturday and Sunday mornings spent in bed with obscene amounts of coffee and obscene amounts of reading material
  • Rereading a new favorite book, even though I just finished it two weeks ago
  • The fact that my cat is always, always so thrilled to see me that she will follow me from room to room to room (including the bathroom… crazy cat)

  • Anything with green leaves
  • Cooking for one at the end of a long day
  • Driving through rural Alabama with the windows down and The Beatles turned up
  • People who really know me
  • Pens and paper
  • Hope
  • Grace
  • Alabama
  • Blue skies
  • Enjoying a beer on a back deck with lots of friends
  • People with whom you can talk for hours without running out of things to say
  • People with whom you can be completely silent without being uncomfortable
  • Community
  • Red high heels
  • Beatles, barbecue and a book on a Friday night

I am 32 flavors and then some

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Him:

Salsa dancing?

You went to a rural festival, a coffee shop, canoeing, to a bike shop (to check on a basket), then salsa dancing?

Were you in a movie?  Were people following you with cameras?

Me:

You mean life isn’t this fascinating and quirky journey for most people?

Him:

No, probably not, and even if it is, I doubt it follows your particular regimen of carefully-assembled urban-bohemian-white person-hipster-approved activities. I mean, you completed an almost perfect circuit of all of the hipster-approved activities in one day!  If only you’d made it to a thrift store!

Before this email exchange with a friend, I didn’t think anything was unusual about my weekend. (In fact, I really still don’t.) But in a nutshell:

Thursday—Dinner at home, followed by a beer, with friends, at my favorite spot.

Friday—Plant sale at lunch (purchased thyme for my herb garden, and a fern from my grandmother, who was working that particular booth). Dinner at home, followed by a benefit event at a fancy pants department store.

Saturday—Coffee and books in bed. Skip shower—why bother when you’re going canoeing? Pick up canoe cohort and drive to rural festival. Hobnob with the folks I know (yep, I have contacts all over this town…), eat a little festival food, then hop in the boat for a quick one-mile canoe trip. (Turn the boat around and paddle upstream for a while, just to slow the journey.) Begin planning a 10.6 mile kayaking trip, as well as a May canoeing trip. Drive back into town for coffee. Run across the street to the bike shop. Entertain employees by simply being (a gift of mine?). Run back to friend’s apartment to pick up bike basket; return to shop and entertain while she exchanges and shops. Report to another friend’s apartment to meet the girls for dinner. Rummage through friend’s closet for clothes (I’m still in canoeing garb and pigtails!). Casual dinner, followed by salsa dancing. Return home 12 hours after I left, and after a much fuller day than anticipated.

Sunday—Coffee and books in bed. Get cute to make up for Saturday’s smelliness (and because it’s fun to wear skirts for no apparent reason). Brunch with church women. Hang out with my favorite 2-year-old, who was in an extra snuggly mood (perhaps because of the current insanity in his life?). Enjoyed the extra snuggles, even with his best Simba impression (that is, licking my arm from wrist to shoulder). Coffee, gossip and books. Dreams of gardening at church. Church. Casual dinner (outdoor seating!) with friends and a random guest. Return home 12 hours after I left, again after a day brimming with more activity than I had planned.

Back to the email exchange…

Me:

So… I think I am a beer snob, an 80-year-old woman, a foodie, a diva, a hipster, a yuppie, a coffee snob, a dirty hippie, a church lady, a momma, a domestic goddess and a flirt. Sound about right?

Him:

Description: That’s you, in a nutshell.  And what a complicated little nutshell you are.

There’s a time you hold your head up, say it doesn’t hurt so much

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I’ve been feverishly working my way through my book sale, book swap and other unread books for the past month. I returned everything I had on loan from the library, and notices of holds ready for pick up have gone unanswered. I’ve started to read books on loan from friends once or twice, but they’ve been quickly abandoned for my own growing collection.

I’ve made a little bit of headway, too–The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe; Ghostgirl; Plainsong; A Year in Provence. But that’s got to stop.

As summer slowly draws nearer, I’ve got to reduce my personal reading to the occasional interlude. It’s time to focus on Alabama authors instead.

As if that’s such a trial–this is perhaps my very favorite part of my job. Last year I got to live the dream. I spent weeks in coffee shops, stacks of books surrounding me, as I whittled a list of 60-some prospective titles to the 18 I recommended in the article I wrote. I interviewed a rock star of the Alabama literary world, and my coworkers and I recommended some of our all-time favorite books. I’ve been looking forward to this year’s article ever since.

It’s easier this time, because I’ve been paying attention to new releases through the year. I’ve already settled on probably half the books I’ll include and am still expecting several others to arrive soon. (I’ve even started my list for 2009!)

Yeah, my job’s pretty great. I know. The hardest part of this assignment is that it brings me face to face with the fear that I’ll never write anything so magnificent myself.