Keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I have been thinking about some big words lately … words like redemption, and freedom, and community, and sanctification. And love, and sin. I could define them for you, and I think I’d probably do an OK job. (Words are my business, after all.) But when it comes down to reality, to life, I’m not always sure what they really mean.

I’ve only been a Christian for six years (just passed my anniversary this week — yes, I am the kind of person who keeps track of such things). But in my limited experience, it seems that the older I get, the more sinful I realize myself to be.

I don’t know whether that means I am more sinful than I was in college or if I’m just more realistic and honest. I tend to think it’s the latter, but it could be both, I don’t know. But it seems to be happening all around me — with my friends, with people I don’t really keep in touch with, with my co-workers.

Sometimes I’ll see someone else’s sin and recoil. I wonder how they could do that, and what’s gone wrong that led them to this point. I wonder how their walk with God is.

And then I look at my own life and realize how completely hypocritical I am.

I guess I always thought I was doing pretty well because so many of my pet sins are socially acceptable. I’m a workaholic in the making — many people would probably see that as an admirable thing. 😉 I’m a bit vain and totally self-centered. (I wish I weren’t self-centered.) But I don’t drink too much, I don’t steal, I don’t murder, I don’t sleep around, and somehow I think this makes me better.

One thing I love about my church (both here and in Birmingham) is that I’m repeatedly reminded of how fallen I am. I always have to laugh that the moment of silent confession is so short, because I have so, so much to confess.

But I am also reminded of Jesus’ grace.

We sang “Come Thou Fount” in church this morning, and it’s one of those that always gets me a little emotional. This verse is my favorite, and only increasingly so with each passing year.

Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

This is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

[01:46] DixieMedley: my poor son is going to be pressured into being a football player.
[01:46] DixieMedley: you know that?
[01:46] DixieMedley: I am goign to live vicariously
[01:47] Wes: My momma was big into football, but she was really protective of me. That’s why I do my damage with a pen and not with pads.
[01:47] DixieMedley: nah, my son’s gonna tear both acls by the time he’s 22
[01:48] Wes: So did Brodie (the acl’s)…
[01:48] DixieMedley: I know.
[01:48] DixieMedley: I’m gonna have a qb.
[01:48] DixieMedley: figure I’m not big enough to birth anything besides a qb or a kicker.
[01:48] DixieMedley: I”m gonna aim for the qb but I’ll take a kicker.
[01:48] DixieMedley: my gosh, I’m crazy aren’t I?

Protected: Even now in death, you open doors for life to enter

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Tuscaloosa decided to hire the other girl for the reporting position. I found out today, and just for the record, I am extremely proud of how professional I was when they told me. (I even smiled. Can you believe that?)

They said she had more “depth reporting” experience, and they really wanted that on this beat. (I haven’t read her stuff outside of the article she wrote on her interview and the stuff she did during her internship as our Washington correspondent, so I don’t know.)

Yeah, I’m irritated. I knew it was coming (I’m smart like that) but I’m irritated. And my first instinct is to turn in my two weeks notice, but I’m more rational than that. I do need to consider how long I want to stay here in a temp position doing something that I really don’t like (it’s hard to schedule job interviews around this crazy schedule, after all) but I’m not going to do anything rash and I’m really not going to do anything until after my interview in Texas next week.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, they DID tell me “well if you change your mind and decide you want to be a copy editor full time, let us know.” They keep RAVING about how good I am at it. (I’m actually a terrible copy editor, I’m a pretty decent designer I guess.) Whatever.

On with the show.

Our hearts are traveling faster

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Oh the joys of life as a pet owner. My buddy Wes and I have been trading pictures of our cats over IM, and Luke and I have been discussing dogs. Non-pet people don’t understand why this would be a worthwhile discussion after midnight on a Monday morning, but those of you who house and love animals know the truth.

Princess Emerald Louise
Emma knows that the media pay her mommy, and her mommy buys her food.

Contessa Topaz Jealous
Tessa is really my dog. Don’t tell Heather.

Lady Lilly Ann
“Lemme outside! Now! Now! Now!” Lilly thinks you don’t understand unless she says it thrice.

It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

When I walked in to work this morning, my managing editor (aka one of the “big bosses,” for those of you not in the industry) told me I did a great job on today’s local news section front. 🙂 He said not only did it look great, but I also wrote great headlines. He even said “I know you don’t want to be a copy editor long term, but you really need to save this one for your portfolio.”

Protected: and every other girl would fly away

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

At long last, somebody is recognizing my true worth and flying me out to a job interview. 🙂

I’ve never been flown to an interview before! I’m so excited!

I’ll be in Amarillo (yes, Amarillo. Yes, Texas.) October 24 and 25, I believe (details to be arranged tomorrow). I’m interviewing at the newspaper, and they have openings for a features writer, cops reporter and general assignment reporter.

I’m also hoping Jackson will actually call my references (but since it’s been almost a week since they called me already, I’m not holding my breath), and I’m applying for a job at the company where my friend Kristen works (which has FL and DC locations).

The real question is, where does Emma want to live next?

I am not overly concerned

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

My right tonsil is swollen, and I’ve woken myself up twice already tonight with coughing. And cough drops don’t really help because of it being a tonsil thing (at least, I guess that’s why). I almost want to stay awake because I don’t cough quite as much when I’m awake. And webmd.com says I need to go to the doctor, but my lack of insurance suggests otherwise. Oh man.

Every Bama man’s behind you, hit your stride

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

I seem to take pictures less frequently in my old age (I really think it’s because Alisa’s not here anymore — I took a crapload when we were roommates). So I don’t have a lot to memorialize this weekend’s football game, but here they are … basking in the reflected glory of a ‘Bama win.

crimson
Warm ups and stuff … just because I like crimson.

go seminoles!
Go Seminoles! I always wear my FSU hat to the biggest Alabama games because I always wore my Alabama hat to the Florida–Florida State games. And well, Philip isn’t a bama fan, so what do you expect? (I insisted we take this picture before the game started in case I was in a bad mood later. That proved unnecessary.)

ROLL DAMN TIDE
This was just before we rammer jammered the hell out of them. 🙂 Final score

rammer jammer
Decided to take pictures at Innisfree – this is with one of the Chrises. (How do you spell Chris when it’s plural? It wouldn’t be Chris’s, ’cause that’s possessive.) I should’ve got a pic with the other one, too, but I guess he’s always there. :shrug: Actually, I guess I only took this picture at innisfree. Oh well. He went to my parents’ high school.

We just beat the hell out of you!

Posted on by Carla Jean Whitley

Every summer, I tell myself that this will be the year that I chill out about football. Every year, I convince myself that it’s just a game and that I can watch it, enjoy the brilliant displays of athleticism and move on after the clock hits zero.

Then the season opener rolls around, and I realize every year that I’m full of crap.

Even though this year’s opener was against MTSU and I only listened on radio, the mood was set. I nearly had a fit as I listened to Rammer Jammer in the fourth quarter, and then annoyed all the girls in the office as I jumped up and down in front of the TV during Georgia Tech’s big win over Auburn. (Yeah, I had to work. Can you believe?)

With each week the season improves. First Florida State beat Miami (finally), then everyone made it to October undefeated. (By everyone, I mean “everyone who mattered.”)

Wake me up when September ends, I said.

But today Bama convinced me I was trapped in a dream. There were a few small glitches, sure (well, and Prothro’s broken leg). But we scored on our first possession (on our first PLAY of our first possession) and things just kept clicking.

Kevin (was that his name?) pinched me sometime in the second quarter. This is all real.

I didn’t believe it until the clock showed nine minutes left in the fourth quarter (yes, right before Prothro’s injury). I looked at the scoreboard and confirmed that we were still up, 31-3. (That was the score at that point, right? I need to buy the DVD.) I looked at the field and confirmed that it was our possession.

“We’re gonna win,” I thought. “We’re gonna win. AND I AM HERE.”

I know he was just my favorite a few days ago, but Philip wins twice in one week. Not only did he get me into that game, but he was sweet enough to stay long enough that I could scream Rammer Jammer at the top of my lungs … and he sang along, too, because it’s the best cheer and because he has good sense. (And well, because he loves to see the Gators lose.)

I might like Brodie a little bit better than him today … but only a little bit.

Oh, and did I mention that parts of the student section did the TOMAHAWK CHOP as the fourth quarter ran out? Get it, Seminoles!

HEY GATORS!

WE JUST BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU!

RAMMER JAMMER YELLOW HAMMER!

GIVE ‘EM HELL, ALABAMA!