Hi, Grief Library readers. I’m in a vulnerable place today. I’ve spent the past two weeks reckoning with unexpected grief, walking through my days feeling like a raw nerve. I’m OK, I will be OK, no one died—but it still sucks.
So today I want to know: Where do you turn when you’re grieving? I’d also love to hear a bit about why. Hit reply if you’re reading this in email, drop a note in the comment box if you’re reading on my website, and tell me what helps you. We’re in life together.
Here are a few things offering me comfort right now:
- Books, of course. That’s why you’re here. A sweet neighbor gave me a Thank You Books gift card and I treated myself to “Dream State” by Eric Puchner. It’s a great distraction.
- Yoga. I’m on the final week of a three-week home practice workshop, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. This week I’ve loved a breathwork series meant to help me move past self-defeating beliefs and a physical practice with a lot of twists.
- Teaching yoga. I’ve recently returned to weekly teaching after almost a decade of subbing. Holding space for students each week pushes me to stay soft and create space for myself. It’s a great mechanism for accountability.
- Friendship—especially, but not exclusively, female friendship. My community has shown up and showered me with love, from bringing me dinner or a latte to taking long walks with me to simply listening to my heartache. I’ve even bonded with new friends in this season. Sharing hard times can seem tough at first, but I firmly believe we aren’t meant to do life alone. Allowing people in buoys me and, I hope, gives them permission to accept love and support, too.
- Little joys. My Spotify Discover Weekly playlists have focused on string arrangements that feel like a hug. I spotted the season’s first daffodils in my neighbor’s yard. I’m reading a poem a morning. A barista and I marveled over his coffee shop’s ninth anniversary. A classroom full of students asked me thoughtful questions. Soon I’ll celebrate reading and writing about reading with a group of people who share this passion. Regardless of what’s happening in my life, joy remains.
- Therapy. The only reason it’s last on this list is because I haven’t had an appointment in a couple of weeks. I hope you’ve got a trusting relationship with a therapist who can coach and guide you. I’m grateful for mine.