I’m biting my lip as confidence is speaking to me

I’ve spent most of my life on intellectual pursuits. I learned to read early and have had my nose in a book until bedtime on most nights since I was 4. I sobbed when I brought home my first B. As an adult, I’ve supplemented driving and chores with podcasts. Part of the reason I love journalism is because I’m constantly learning. Yes, I spent several years as a cheerleader and dancer. But as much as I loved my increased flexibility and the adrenaline rush of performance, I was enamored by my philosophy of supporting the school and the intellectual challenge of perfecting a series of movements.

This all occurred to me tonight as I rested on my living room floor in child’s pose. I’ve never loved exercise, and I’m fortunate that my high metabolism has yet to make it an obviously pressing need. But I’m drawn to yoga because it helps me slow my mind and relax–a lesson I’ve never managed to glean from books.

This year has been filled with changes that have taught me so much. I’m still trying to develop a regular yoga habit, yes. But I’ve also branched out in other ways. It’s been a year when I’ve dated more (and found someone who I care about deeply). I’ve always had a handful of close friends, but in my teens and 20s I thought I needed to be friends with everyone. In 2011, I’ve seen my social circle shrink as I’ve begun to accept that some people are acquaintances, and I’ve seen it expand as other acquaintances become friends. I am facing exciting professional challenges as the magazine where I work approaches its 50th anniversary. I’ve seen friends struggle with too many less-thrilling challenges of their own, and I’ve tried to be supportive and apologize when I fall short.

I’ve read far fewer books in 2011 than is my norm, but I hope the lessons I’m learning make as great an impact as the knowledge I’ve always sought in more academic outlets.

Today’s subject line is a lyric from “Give Out” by Sharon Van Etten, whose music I’m currently obsessed with.

2 Comments

Filed under Autobiography, Yoga

2 Responses to I’m biting my lip as confidence is speaking to me

  1. Yoga is good like that, giving us moments to think. Feel, even. I find myself overwhelmed with *something* that I haven’t quite identified whenever I do gorilla pose. I think I’m carrying secrets in that back of mine; I’ll stretch them all out one day …

  2. Miss you. I’d love to have a cup of coffee or three and hear about everything new.

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