During a recent girls’ night at Chez Fonfon, two of my friends confessed their desire to be “hood.” Now I will point out, one of these friends is a former Anthropologie employee and the other a homecoming queen, so they’ve got a long way to go. In any case, the bulk of the evening’s conversation was devoted to the pursuit of hood-ness, and their determination to find me a hood theme song.
Finally, I couldn’t resist any longer. “I’m pretty sure if you were hood, you wouldn’t be eating at Chez Fonfon,” I pointed out.
I was shot down in the ensuing discussion of bling and status. But then, what do I know? I’m so not hood.
Top 10 reasons we know I’m not so hood:
- I didn’t realize “you’re so hood” was a phrase…
- …or a song…
- …or that “hood” could be used as an adjective.
- I have precisely one song listed as rap on my iPod… and it’s the Beastie Boys, who were constantly played on the “new rock” station when I was in high school.
- Jamie says I’m the prissiest person she knows. I’m pretty sure you can be prissy and live in the hood, but I don’t think prissy girls can be hood.
- The fourth graders I volunteer with told me they liked my sunglasses because they looked like Soulja Boy’s. I thought Soulja Boy was a song, not a person.
- The only reason I even knew Soulja Boy as a song was because of a New Year’s Eve party and other people’s musical preferences.
- I listen to folk music. A lot of folk music.
- I consider Will Smith rap (OK, white girl rap, but still) and I’m still proud that I know every word of “Miami,” “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It,” “It’s All Good” and “Men in Black.”
- Have you ever heard me say “gettin’ jiggy wit it?” I am so not hood.