I’ve been here before and I deserve a little more

The thing about this form of communication is that sometimes I feel the urge to write, even the urge to write publicly, but I don’t want to write about what’s really on my mind. And so I end up either rambling about something completely irrelevant or making vague-y vaguerton posts. Which is maybe passive-aggressive, but it’s fun. You never know just who is reading and how much you want them to know …

I am still obsessed with the idea of running away. I am probably talking/thinking about it too much …

12 thoughts on “I’ve been here before and I deserve a little more

  1. Dear Carla,

    On my part, I’m sorry to you about offending you with “TMI” writing, or being an influence on that matter. I say this in desiring flexibility with apology, the willingness to say sorry freely with redemption in God’s covenant, another lesson of Dan. 2:43.

    I encourage you to keep writing, wrestling with the Lord about personal expression. I say this based on my own expression in communion with the Lord, even in all my ugly ways. If it might be a help, I confess that, being an introvert, I get very ashamed of myself in abusing introversion and avoiding personal expression, especially around female peers. In agreement with a Dylan lyric, “It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.” I think crying with the Lord brings shame out into the open. I encourage you to share your feelings with the Lord in knowing truth in love.

    And I encourage you to talk to an older Christian woman as a disciple confidant, learning from her life-story for foundation of your own blog expression. Talking with an older male Christian confidant is something I want as my own foundation for my future blog. And I hope my wrestling with God in church fellowship and personal expression will be a good help to you and other peers. I hope this finds you well.

    Genuinely,
    Rick

  2. Rick: I encourage you to stop creeping us out here. I think most of the folks here know Carla, and such commentary would be appropriate from them, but …

    Write back, though, when Carla has spent a night in your house! 🙂

  3. i’m completely lost about the comments (except the SoaP reference), but i just wanted to say, “I get what you’re sayin’!”

  4. I think everyone on this board is pretty serious. Lighten up.

    I used to be serious, then I lived through some shit. I once ran blocker for a big rig that had to get from get from Atlanta to Texarkana, load up 400 cases of illegal Coors, and then hightail back to Atlanta.

    All in 24 hours.

    We did it, and I fell in love, continually dodged a Texas county mountie and my friend Jerry Reed drove the truck, sang some songs, played with his dog Fred and lost a barfight.

    You live through stuff like that, you can live through anything with a smile. (Even the two horrible sequels this adventure had.)

  5. kind of like … it’s OK to doubt God. I think that’s what I’m thinking … like, I think it’s OK to question God, I think I grow in that process and that my FAITH grows in that process. similarly, it’s OK to question whether journalism is right for me … refusing to acknowledge doubts is probably more unhealthy than anything. but having the doubts doesn’t mean that it ISN’T the right thing

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