Wow, so, I don’t know why this post has been saved as a draft for so long. I definitely wrote it in December, just after I started at my last job … which I quit earlier this month, just so you know. Anyway …
Sometimes a girl just hits a threshold where she can’t handle any more talk of weddings, boyfriends or blind dates without wanting a piece of the action for herself.
Usually I am not that girl. In fact, within days of starting this job, one of the sports guys had asked me if I wasn’t the marrying type and then decided that I probably didn’t want children. (He was wrong on both counts, and I can’t help but wonder why he thought he had me so quickly figured out.)
No, usually I’m the girl who complains about wedding and engagement announcements and loudly proclaims how much she is not ready for marriage.
OK, so I’m still that girl. But for tonight, at the very least, I’m also the girl who wouldn’t mind attempting a relationship.
The other night I made one of my typical comments about not being ready to be married and a couple of friends gave me those “really?” sort of expressions. And well, I figure it’s pretty obvious that I’m not ready, given that I have no one who I would want to marry at this point (nor anyone who would want to marry me, but y’know, one without the other isn’t much good anyway).
I read somewhere today that everyone is afraid of commitment these days. I wonder if that’s true. Are we more afraid of commitment than in the past? I am, at least a little bit – I mean, seriously, I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted more than three months.
But I crave companionship as much as the next person, and though it can come in many less romantic forms, the truth is I would like a man to spend some time with. That obviously wouldn’t supplant time with girlfriends (once I make them) or, well, with my cat, because she is the only one who travels with me from city to city on this voyage we call my twenties.
I figure I probably won’t date much while I live in this city, if at all. There simply aren’t that many men to choose from. The attractive ones are usually married or too young for me (I could handle grad students, maybe even a fifth year senior, but junior college guys are just a little green yet.) And did I mention that the first (well, only) place I’ve been hit on in this city was at Wal-Mart?
Dating isn’t everything – if you look at my past history, you’ll realize that I know that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it, especially when a co-worker proffers her newly diamond-laden hand.
I’m not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
–Patty Griffin
As I told you before, just take it like this:
Have an open mind, blow my trigger down
Gimme the last cold turkey blast, make it fast
Take my ass to town
Have an open mind, send my cares away
Ring my bell you fat piggy whale, what
the hell Today’s your lucky day
You and me… and her, simultaneous
You and me… and Wynona Rider,
Simultaneous lovin’ baby, two or three…
Simultaneous, ooh, come on
Have an open mind, is a normal thing to do
Don’t be rude, just get nude
Oh, you’re being rude, I would do it for you
Baby please have an open mind, you’re the only one I love
these girls you see, baby they don’t mean anything,
let’s all just get in the tub
You and me… and her too, simultaneous
You and me… and your momma and your sister
Simultaneous lovin’ baby, two or three…
Simultaneous oww, come on
Everybody in the pool!
Have an open mind, don’t be so mean to me
Call your sister and your mother and your aunt
It’s every man’s fantasy
Have an open… woa, baby, put that knife away
Don’t be mad, I’ll take you back, just relax, we
can make love your way
I’m talking about
You and me… and some flowers and wine, instantaneous
You and me… and Whitney Houston
on the radio, babe, on the radio
Some candles and some good feelings
Just the two of us
Oh, fudge it
Now, I’m talking about
You and me… and her and her and her, simultaneous
You and me… all women in the house, simultaneous
Three and seven, make it a baker’s dozen
See the ladies in the house clap your hands
whoo! Now that’d be a party, ladies