Nobody’s happy while feeling alone

There are plenty of reasons why I claim Nickel Creek’s “Reasons Why” as my favorite song and one of the songs that tells the most about my life.

I realize it’s kind of a depressing way to describe yourself–read the lyrics for yourself if you don’t know what I mean. And I know I’m mostly a pretty cheerful, upbeat kind of girl. But I have probably more than my share of melancholy moments, and when they come I turn into little miss “woe is me.”

Sometimes I think that’s pretty normal for this stage of life. I’m in my early (almost mid!) twenties and I’m as far from being “settled” as I ever have been. Most days that doesn’t bother me (too much).

But then those moments of discontent come along. Yesterday was that kind of day… sometimes I get in a funk because there’s no one around, but then I’m in such a poopy mood that I don’t want to hang out with anyone. It’s pretty self-defeating and irrational.

My temporary employment is up in three weeks and I don’t know what’s in store next. (I know God’s in control, but that doesn’t mean I always live as though I believe it. So thanks for the reminder, but I haven’t forgotten. 😉 ) I have mixed feelings on the future. On the one hand, I have enjoyed working at the paper. If they offer me a full time job, I might have to take it.

On the other, I really don’t like this city. I know it took me a while to get used to living in Birmingham, too, but I never disliked Birmingham. I was just lonely. I don’t know if I could get used to living here again… maybe I could. But if I had to choose between employment here or there, the job would have to be pretty good to keep me here.

Of course, at this point that’s just wishful thinking… the employer’s aren’t exactly lining up outside my door. I guess I’ll just wait and see…

You can’t jump the track
We’re like cars on a cable and life’s like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button girl
So just cradle your head in your hands
And breathe
–Anna Nalick

9 Comments

Filed under Autobiography, music, Reasons why

9 Responses to Nobody’s happy while feeling alone

  1. I was driving through your little ville yesterday, and I had the urge to stop and try to find you. [I didn’t, for a number of reasons, one of which was that I had family in the car with me, and really, they’re already too much into the “When are you getting married?” question since my brother was married on Saturday, and … I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.]

    You can look at the instability as a depressing thing, or you can look at it as a possibility for adventure. Of course, not all adventures are fun…

  2. I look at it as a little bit of both. 🙂 It would be boring if I had my life all figured out at age 23… but sometimes it would be nice to know where I’m going to be for the next several months.

  3. Oh, it is a little of both. Knowing that I’ve got a job and a house that I can have for just about as long as I’d like to maintain and grow them both is both a cool thing and a stifling one…

  4. I think that’s the nature of life, somehow… or human nature, perhaps. We’re always looking ahead, even when enjoying the present moment.

  5. There’s a quote from Pope’s Essay on Man floating in my head, just out of my grasp … blast that I can’t recall it to quote here. :hug:

  6. Kari

    I like that song a lot, the one you quoted at the end.

  7. Wow… that’s me right now… Bored… I need people.

  8. eminem

    fuck that song

  9. eminem

    i guess its not a bad song, it all dependd on what ur in to….

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