Stop trying to figure it out, deep will only bring you down

Over the past month, I’ve been rolling an idea around in my head: sometimes failure is easier than success.

I’ll admit that idea doesn’t always show itself in the form of failure, per se. You could substitute “settling” for “failure” with the same result. It may have been easier to go on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ when I graduated from college instead of choosing a different career path. It was easier to kick off my graduate career at the same university I’d been attending for years instead of entering a risky field elsewhere. Conversley, it was scary to drop out of grad school in favor of living with my parents and praying about my next step. I thought I was crazy – and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one! – when I moved to Alabama halfway through a semester to prepare for another academic program.

Though I’ve only two classes remaining in my chosen major, there are still days when I worry I’ve made bad decisions. Journalism is an extremely competitive field; can I hack it? Is my skin thick enough to absorb the countless rejections that I’ll receive (indeed, have already received)? Do I have the talent and drive that it will take to be a success?

The answer is simple. I don’t know. All I know is I’ve got a passion for writing that feels almost as deep-seeded as Jeremiah’s fire in his bones. I may prove unsuccessful in this career, but all I know is that I must try.

I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a (red dirt, kudzu consumed) cliff. Scratch that – I’ve already taken a tentative step forward. Small and uncertain as it is, that step has sent me falling quickly toward a new destination. I see the safety net at the bottom, but it’s not a job or promise of financial prosperity. Instead, Jesus is blocking my view of those things. I don’t know what hides behind him. But I do know, even as my heart leaps into my throat, that he will catch me.

I'm such a dork.
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19


Filed under Faith, Insecurity, Journalism

6 Responses to Stop trying to figure it out, deep will only bring you down

  1. Journalism is a competitive field. I sometimes feel like I don’t know enough to be a writer or that I’m not well read enough or a million other things. But, I’ve got 4 years to get better (lol!). Anyway, I’ve read you’re writing and you’re very talented and you’ll do great wherever you end up!

  2. what a read between the lines blog 😉

  3. memphis matt

    much more to this young one than meets the eye. 😛

  4. the thing about writing is that you can do it anywhere. there are so many facets to writing… a journalism degree doesn’t mean you have to be a journalist. you probably WON’T be one, knowing you. but the wonderful part is that you can carve your own path using your passions, and you have that little slip of paper to back you up. that’s what i’m planning on doing. and congratulations… it takes a lot of guts to realize your passions and go for it, even if you don’t know where it will take you. a lot of people, most maybe, never go there, and spend an unfulfilled lifetime in a job they don’t love because they never jumped off the cliff just to see what was at the bottom.

  5. Pingback: Stumbling Through The Lines » Wait, I’ll be fine, just give me a couple years to say my prayers

  6. Taneal

    I just stumbled upon this blog. very randomly as I searched for other things, but am glad I did. I am, like many others, currently in a situation of “figuring out my life” and trying to figure out if doing what I have been doing, and what has just “come”, is me settling or failing. (I have a dumb past of quitting, yet that is not what I want to do) anywya. I commend you for your choice to step out. yesterday someone told me that God can’t stear a boat that’s not moving. I’m sure he really could, but he won’t. the first step is for us. and I hate that alot of the time.
    step one. just make one and stick to it.
    and still believe that God is soveriegn.

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