High maintenance in so many ways

My roommate loves to remind me that I’m high maintenance. I think she enjoys the contrast between our personalities in that way. While I take at least thirty minutes to get ready in the morning, she doesn’t mind rolling out of bed and throwing her hair in a ponytail from time to time. She borrows my lipstick for fun – it’s not a part of her daily routine.

Appearance isn’t the only way that I’m high maintenance, though. I’m somewhat particular about my car. My bedroom has to be just so – it takes a great deal of restraint for me to go to bed without perfecting everything. I kill myself to make articles perfect, and if they fail to meet my standards, I don’t want to share them with you. I’ve been called the music snob for my particular taste in tunes.

Oh – and I am extremely picky about men. We couldn’t forget that, now could we?

Those of you who know me or who read me often are familiar with my numerous complaints about the opposite sex. Part of my motivation for whining about them all the time is pure entertainment value – y’all comment, I laugh at myself and we all win in the end. My rants are also partially rooted in truth.

But don’t let the chip on my shoulder fool you – I’m aware that the problem is just as much my own (if not entirely so).

I made a profound statement to my friend Jesse many months ago. We were searching the aisles of Albertson’s for a specific brand of chips during a late-night grocery run. I couldn’t settle for the almost-right brand – I wanted the correct product. It was then that a certain truth hit me.

“I’ll probably be the last of my friends to get married,” I claimed as I plucked items from the shelf.

Jesse looked at me quizically.

“I’m so picky that I’ve not only got to find a guy who fulfills my specifications – I’ve also got to find one that will put up with me!”

He laughed my statement off as we paid for our items, but that truth has stuck with me over time. As I’ve toyed with the thought of various flirtations in the past couple of weeks, it’s wormed its way back to the front of my mind.

When I moved to Alabama, I joked that I might finally find myself the Southern boy that I’d been searching for. I didn’t want a Floridian man for fear that it would mean staying in the state I was finally breaking free from.

So I’m in Alabama. I’ve been here for – what? – 12 and a half months. And after going on my first date with a “Bama boy,” I’ve been thinking about how much that kind of guy is not what I’m after.

If you’re not yelling, “Make up your mind, woman!” by now… you’re entirely too sympathetic to my side.

I do have issues with men. My friend Natalie sort of asked me that a few weeks ago, and now I’m ready to admit it. I joke about wanting one, but I’m not sure that I do. Whenever they show the slightest bit of interest, I run.

If a cute boy sits next to me at church, I rush out at the end of the service without making eye contact. When a classmate wants to set me up with his friend, I’m quick to find all the reasons it won’t work out. (And let’s face it, sometimes those reasons are genuine.) It takes a lot to get me warmed up to a guy, and so when I do, that’s something pretty special.

Maybe I need to go back to junior high and learn how to be friends with guys again. I’m realizing how much they freak me out. As much as I love to play up the role of neurotic CJ… this is an issue that I probably need to let go.

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0 Responses to High maintenance in so many ways

  1. Ya think?

    GFM <– not one to talk about neuroses, though

  2. you know I love you and thats why I remind you that your HM. If we both we LM or HM we’d probably kill each other you know.

  3. I’m well aware. πŸ™‚

    and Geof… :P!

  4. Steven

    I’m starting to believe that the labels “high and low maintenance” only serve to distract us instead of correctly identify us. Some things about all of us are either high or low maintenance.

    But about the boy thingy. I don’t think that you are where you are by accident…and well, you know that. But I say that because, God, being the author of your life, has in mind to make you like Him, and He isn’t scared of relationships. So, what is He trying to teach you right now? Are you ready and willing to learn the lesson?

    I sound like I think I got the answers…but, you know I got nothing. (like the grammar problems??) I got nothing but the truth working its way to the surface…

  5. Tim

    Carla,
    The best piece of advice I could give you is not to overanalyse this stuff. We all ask the boy/girl questions, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated. If you spend too much time trying to work out these things, you never get round to living them. I realised that I had a similar problem with looking for a ‘type’ of person. Dude, how many people do you know who have married the type of person they always anticipated meeting?
    Steven, you hit the high-maintenance thing on the head! Again, my favourite quote of Kierkergaard’s “If you label me, you negate me”!

  6. Steven

    Oh…I ask those questions to you because I find that they are helpful for me to ask myself…

  7. But if I don’t overanalyze, I have nothing to write about…! πŸ˜‰

    I actually had a loooooooong chat with God about this the other day, and that was fun. Y’all only get glimpses of what’s going on in my mind; I try to reserve the fullness of the thought for prayer. Generally.

    Seriously though, I agree that overanalyzing can be a problem. But I often live as I think, so don’t worry about me TOO much. πŸ™‚

  8. Carla, you are bitter… just like me πŸ˜‰

  9. Adam, we should get together and have a bitterness party. We’ll serve only bitter things and drink coffee without much sugar, and we’ll watch angry movies and throw things.

    Whaddya say?!

  10. Steven

    Wait, hold on….coffee without much sugar! That is close to the correct way to drink coffee, black! I like my coffe like I like my women, black and b…wait, that joke is old.

    It is good that you reserve the best for your intimacy with God. There are the things that must be held there and guarded with supremecy in effort.

    How do your closest confidents challenge you to change your thinking? This is how I’ve been able to correctly discern. I find that if I had “yes men” around me I would accomplish squat.

  11. Here are my thoughts concerning this issue.

    We can’t figure out jack squat when it comes to dating. Just try to be honest with God and keep plugging away in your singleness.

    Then one day, a dude will pop up and it’ll all be over. πŸ™‚

    Good day.

  12. Y’know what’s funny, Peter?

    I agree with you.

    But I think about it anyway.

  13. I have to admit that I agree with Peter as well πŸ™‚ And Carla, I’m so with you on the pickiness thing… and I always thought that I was running away from every potential out of some deep-seeded fear, but when a boy came along who I really liked and expressed interest in me, I didn’t run, and I didn’t put up walls, and I didn’t try to push him away…. so…. maybe you eliminate all these guys for a reason, and when the right one comes along, it will be impossible to eliminate him! πŸ™‚

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