Protected: I’m numb from all my doubt, trying to sort the whole thing out

I wish it had never happened.

And I know people would tell me not to say that, that I don’t mean it.

But I do.

I wish it had never happened.

He wasn’t worth this pain. This relationship was a joke. In the almost – three months we were together, we saw each other once. As fantastic as that weekend was, I would gladly give it up if I could be rid of this pain.

That weekend kept me going when I missed him. When I was so sick of a purely internet relationship, I remembered how wonderful it was to sit close to him at the Opry. I thought about all the things I learned about him that weekend. I recalled crying after I left him at the airport, because all I wanted was to be near him and have a shot at a normal relationship.

I should’ve known it wouldn’t work out. I should’ve run while I had the chance.

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