You wanna talk defense mechanisms? I’ve got ’em.
I like to think that I’ve progressed quite a bit in recent years, but I know they’re still there. It still doesn’t take much to rouse them.
For example, if I’m feeling insecure, you better watch out. I’m likely to turn sarcastic and perhaps even more competitive than usual in an effort to protect myself. If I’m afraid that you’re going to blow me off, I’ll probably put you in your place before you get the chance.
I was reminded of this particular idiosyncracy earlier this week. I don’t know why, but sometimes I talk a big talk. I’m little miss trash talker during the football season (and frequently out of season!) You better watch what you say about Alabama or Florida State football around me, because I’m not going to take it lying down.
Still, sometimes I grow tired of this little charade. Scrappy though I may be, I’m a girl. I hope never to be “just one of the guys,” though that’s a fear I harbor when it comes to talking ball with the boys.
Football, therefore, can pull out those defenses I still harbor. I don’t like to be wrong, and I don’t like to be out talked in a mud slinging session. I should bow out gracefully like the little girl I still am. Instead, I’ll work my feminine wiles or my football knowledge for all they’re worth (or worse still, a deadly combination of the two!)
I’m a mish-mash of idiosyncracies. Some find that lovable; others find it annoying. Take your pick.